How are you? I am not sure if you can help me. My story is like this. I'm 39 yrs old and I know this guy from I was 10 yrs old. I always liked him and we became an item in the 1990's. I was very active in my church and I did not have sex with him and we broke up. I am from a small island and I went back to my country in 1993 and got pregnant from an ex. The guy I'm talking about heard about it and thought I moved on and he moved on and got married. I came back to the U.S in 2004 & we hooked up & one thing led to another and we finally had sex, I got pregnant and have a 6 year old child. His family knows about it, but his wife has no idea he has an outside child. We have been seeing each other for 7 years & we are very active sexually. I really love him and he gives me the impression that he feels the same. But I am so frustrated with this whole situation & I want to leave but it is so hard especially sharing a child together. He has 2 boys with his wife and I have a daughter. I don't know what to do sometimes. I feel bad a lot of times knowing I did this to another woman, but he does not make it easy for me either. Any advice? & what do you think about this person who is keeping this secret (Love child) a secret. You are a Love expert, so I hope you can help me. :)
Anonymous
Thanks
Good luck with everything and please keep me posted.
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I am dating someone who has broken up with his girlfriend of three years and he also has a one-year-old son.
They have only been separated for two months and he says she wants him back. I said maybe he should go back to her and try and work things out for the sake of his son, but he said he doesn’t want to because they don’t get along anymore.
He hasn’t told her about us yet properly because it is early in our dating life and he is not sure what will happen between us. At times I think he likes me a lot and then there are other times that I am not sure what’s going on.
I think he speaks about her too much and isn’t giving us a chance to grow.
I am not really sure how to handle the situation. Could you give me some advice?
Anonymous
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
You are looking into this far more than you should. You guys literally just started dating and too many factors say you are going to rush into a broken heart. If you feel there is enough interest to pursue knowing him better than I say to get to know who he is. However, dating him at this point may be a bit premature in his getting over someone phase. I believe that time always differs for every individual but if he is constantly speaking of her while with you, then those alarms are going off that possibly he needs a little time. I’m not saying to completely dump the guy, but, I am suggesting that you express your concerns and pull back from him. You shouldn’t expect him to make the announcement to his ex about you so quick. That’s something that people make an issue about when it is not of great importance this early. The only time that would be of any importance is if you are taking a role in his child’s life. The territorial stance that people wish to pose by letting an ex know about their existence is childish and should not be a concern of yours at this stage what so ever. Focus on just getting to know him safely and do not move too fast. This situation may not be the right one right now if ever. Good luck and keep me posted.It's been almost two years since my ex and I broke up. I am feeling lonely.
Recently I have been going through a very difficult time and all I want is to talk to him. I sit at home and think about my past and I just want to call him. We haven't talked to each other for a while now but the urge is really strong. I think that I am able to forgive him for cheating.What should I do? Help me please, Anonymous.
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
Never allow loneliness to make decisions that a clear mind wouldn’t make. One of the bigger reasons for entering the wrong relationship is loneliness and your email screams this. I understand that going through a difficult time can muster up old emotions and mislead self into thinking things that normally one wouldn’t but do not let this moment walk you into a world of repeated hurt. Remain focused on yourself and work on altering your thought process by reminding yourself why it is you are having these thoughts and how you deserve better. You haven’t been in contact with him in so long that you have no idea if this individual has progressed from being the cheater he was while with you. I think you should not engage with him in any form and chalk this up to those lonely thoughts and not some emotional connection brewing like out of some cheesy B rated movie. Please keep me posted, good luck.
1 comment:
You are so good @ what you do Mr.Lovermman. Keep up the good work
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