Thursday, April 29, 2010


Dear Mr. lover man,

I am a married young women in my late 20's who just recently ( as recent as January) decided to separate from my current marriage...
In late October i met someone who we just communicated via email/im's etc... Online stuff, (we met online) as the months progress so did our friendship, we grew closer, as close as us both falling in love with each other ....he's is the same situation with a slight difference .. married but NOT separated...
Of course we see each other, but that's very limited (as to our situation) and that's really starting to bother me, i'm feeling needy, wanting more, desiring his company at all times... missing him terribly, but then i engage some negative thoughts as to "does he miss me as much as i do" I’m always doubting and seeking re-assurance of his love.....i don't know what to think anymore.....I wondering, should i just let him go??forbiddenLove......

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Forbidden Love,
For the record, you are just the other woman. Your situation is not the same as you are more emotionally available being that you are separated. He is not and wont be as long as he can make love to his wife and fuck you at will. You have absolutely no right to want more because you are just the side piece. You say you both are in love but maybe you are misleading yourself, maybe you are way more emotionally attached than him and he is having his cake and eating it too. You need to heal within and re-evaluate what you believe your self worth to be. You need to find your soul and increase self love and learn to convey that to a single healthy relationship. Maybe even see counseling. I wish you the best always, please keep me posted. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tips on to improve your relationship and sex life with your partner
So many times in a relationship partners tend to lose communication as so many factors dull the situation, such as bills, kids driving you crazy, new found responsibilities that didn’t exist as a couple in the early stages. Communication can diminish and this can lead to destruction of what could remain beautiful. Regain focus, take a moment and ask yourself how much worth is this relationship and do you really want to save it. Ask yourself why do you want to save it and when you safely answered those questions, try new methods of communication.
Be less demanding, stop reminding one of chores in a annoying fashion, show concern in your words, don’t forget the friendship, laugh together, and remember that respect is warranted in a relationship.

Do things together, go out and be creative within your financial means and show affection. Show appreciation to your partner, no matter the gender, everyone wants to be appreciated. Never be too busy for your relationship. I don’t care what your work hours are, if you really love this person and want this relationship to work then you will. If you are letting it slowly die without a care for love, and you are just complacent then let it go.

Sexual improvements are not hard either, once again we must use communication. So many people allow frustration to set in, yet they haven’t even communicated efficiently with their partners about their sexual drives. Never make the assumption your partner is the gift in bed and talk before, during if need be and after. Make sure you both are set on pleasing one another and both are attentive to each others needs.

Don’t be afraid to take turns with total domination of pleasing the other. One can service the other in total, leaving the other one at the pleasurable mercy in exploration of fulfilling the communicative actions expressed in earlier conversation. Try new places, and I don’t mean the bathroom and kitchen, you should have already tried that. Take a trip, be spontaneous, do not ever take the relationship for granted. Do not ever assume because this is significant other that they will just always be there and you can always postpone the sex. Take charge and make it sexy again, take control and elaborate your love physically and show how much they mean to you with total worship of their body. Insert your fantasies and inquire about your partners and make them real. Work through all short comings or unpleasurable acts with communication, express your stance and why you will or will not do something. Choose caring words always. Learn to touch your partner all over without intercourse. Appreciate their bodies for its beauty and not just for sexual thrashing. Rebuild your sex life with what works and create something amazing around that. Add, subtract, do all you can and you will be high that you will be looking down on cloud nine.

Monday, April 19, 2010


Mr. Lover Man,

I have been dating this girl for about 3 weeks, the problem is she is sexually active with another man and I don’t know where we stand. I really like her but we haven’t had sex and I’m wondering if its because of the other guy. I don’t know what to do as far as stepping my game up because I feel second to this dude. What do you suggest?
2nd to None

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear 2nd to None,
Well, you obviously are feeling the right thing. You ARE second to this other guy and you have to ask yourself if you are willing to accept this role. Do not mislead yourself about your position, use communication to find out how she sees you. Do not assume that you are in a competition because you could be used for a certain purpose. Maybe she likes your company and doesn’t have the sexual attraction and gets sexed heavily by this other guy to compensate for what she will not let you do. You need to see the situation for what it is, you need to communicate how you feel and see how she feels. You are in a situation knowingly she is being sexed by another man, so ask yourself this, what’s your worth? She seems content with having her two company keepers, you just aren’t the sex guy. Find out where you stand. Good luck. Please keep me posted.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I’m dealing with this female who seems to hit me up only when other situations seem to fail for her. Like a dummy I’m always giving in. I like her a lot and I kinda wish she would she that I’m a good man, not just a dude when she is down. How can I change this and make her realize I’m not like those people that see her for her physical looks and then dump her? Hope this don’t be sounding pathetic, just asking some real stuff. Thanks
Anonymous Male

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous Male,
This situation is a real tough one. She obviously does not care for your feelings as much as you do hers and probably never will with her selfish ass. She attracts a certain type of man that is not happy with her for more than a moment and you are her moment. You are the pillow, the consoling shoulder, the back-up plan, the rebound, the temporary fix and you need to stand tall and ask yourself how content are you with never being “The One:” Do NOT live on hope, live with fact, she doesn’t seem to have that one vision one day that says “wow I think this guy is the one” because you have accepted the role she gave you. You have given her more power than she deserves and you are misleading yourself thinking you can change this. Express yourself honestly, the one thing you own is how you feel so express that. You owe it to yourself to be honest and stop allowing yourself to be used. Good Luck and please keep me posted.

Dearest Mr. Lover Man,
Me and my boyfriend broke up and are now working it out. My problem is when we broke up he was having sex with this girl we know and now that we are back together they remained friends. Should I be concerned with this? I see their interaction on a social site (Twitter) and they get flirtatious. She even comments on his penis size and about him coming over or her going out with him. I am very un comfortable with this and feel disrespected. How should I approach this?

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Natasha,
This could be a serious problem, it could also be nothing more than silly fun. I’m gambling on it being a serious problem. You have stake in this relationship and have the right to voice your opinion. One thing I ask is that you evaluate your actions as well and if you do not partake in this type of activity than strongly express yourself. If you do, then you should be willing to ease up as well. The fact that they were sexual during your break-up and continue to have a dialogue of such content while you are working things out worries me in the sense that maybe he isn’t as serious about working it out as you are. I could be wrong and this could be innocent flirting, but the sexual history suggests otherwise. You need to approach this with a clear head and not emotionally charged. Point out things that bother you and what you think is disrespectful and unacceptable. You have that right as someone emotionally invested here. However, listen to him, hear him out, maybe he will be understanding. Do NOT be accusatory but be honest. Good luck and please keep me posted.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I really messed up here and I need real true advice. I am sleeping with my friends man and I’m falling in love with him. It started as a three-some and he was on some other level stuff that made my body feel things that it never felt. So one day he asks me if he can give me special attention one time because he didn’t feel that he gave me enough and I just had to know what this meant because if the attention he gave me was that good, I can only fantasize about how it would be alone. It was something ill remember, at times he slacks now but I am falling in love with him and its beginning to hurt me to see him and my friend happy. If they break-up is it ok for me to snatch him up and how long should I wait? “The Mona Lisa”

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear “The Mona Lisa”
This disturbs me and disgusts me. You use the word friend as if you have a clear understanding of what that means. Nonetheless, we will get to your issue in a minute. Lets evaluate some things here, you selfishly disrespected your “friendship” for sexual pleasure and have the nerve to say you are falling in love with your “friends” man and actually are hoping for their demise so your selfish ass can move on in? Did you even read what you emailed me? This is wrong 100% and you need to really do some serious soul searching. Do you realize that you entered this “relationship” with this dude as a sexual object and most of the time (almost always) when this happens, it never evolves long term, if so it fails ultimately. You are hoping for their demise for your pleasure and this is wrong. So to honestly answer your questions, it really isn’t healthy to “snatch him up” when they break-up if you really expect to keep this friendship even though you do not deserve it. The guy is sexing you both and you expect him to take you serious? What idiotic line made you come to that conclusion? I wish you the best of luck and that doesn’t mean continuing to backstab your “friend”. Take care, please let me know how this unfolds.

Sunday, April 11, 2010


Dear Mr. Lover Man,

Do all men have to always cheat? It seems like every time I fall for a guy he goes and does something really stupid like cheating. I really don’t think good men exist, so should I accept that all men cheat and just keep the relationship going?

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Frustrated
First thing, all men do NOT cheat. Your attracting a series of lame dudes does not constitute a law of all men cheating. There are good men out there and in achieving this acquisition of a good man, one must want it so much that they improve self. A good man knows his worth and will not settle for the unmotivated, dependent woman who does not see things as is. Your constant pairing of cheating, lame men can tell a bit about you. We attract a certain type of person in our lives by our actions and words. We can be duped once by someone and it does hurt but to say every man you encounter has cheated on you tells us that the one constant in that situation is you. You need to analyze the role you play in this and then do something about it to make your self happier. You should experience a real man in your life, it is not a mythological creature, we really do exist. Never accept a man that cheats on you, no one slips, no one makes that as a mistake, no one who does it loves you as much as you think, You must put you first and take control. Know your inner worth, know you power, know love and stand for better. Good luck with everything.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I love my husband but I found that I am also in love with an other man that I didn’t want to be in love with. He is so charming, so handsome in a rugged way and knows how to touch me. I don’t want to leave my husband but is it possible that I can be happy loving these two men. They don’t know about each other but I can make sure they wont. Please tell me this will work. Anonymous

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
Interesting that you want to deceive these men and you talk about love when you speak of your connection with them. I don’t know that you know what love truly is. These acts of deceit will not only leave you empty but will ultimately leave these two men you claim to love heartbroken. The test of how much you love these men is coming clean to save them from this devastating situation you forced them in. Think of the hearts of the men you claim to love. Park your selfishness on the corner and be a responsible adult. Good luck.

Mr. Lover Man,
I know cheating is not good, but my girl annoys me at times. I’m going to keep it real, if it wasn’t for my daughter I would have been got up out of here. She spends more time flirting with dudes online than she does giving any physical pleasure here. I feel like I’m just some random man that happens to share a child with her. Now I have been getting a lot of attention from women and I have been a faithful man for the 4 years I have been with her but I’m not trying to take from my life if another woman makes me feel like I’m somebody again. I am planning to cheat and I just want to know what would you do?
John (Not real name)

John, you have to communicate these feelings with your girlfriend. You must make your voice heard before you do something you can not take back. What she is doing is hurting you and you need to say something. She is caught up in this false internet world where people are a picture (often not present or real or they are touched up to cover truths) and a story which isn’t real. She is giving attention elsewhere and you need to express how it makes you feel. Her focus on these men could be due to many reasons, one could be her seeking validation from people which can be sad. One could be that she is not into the relationship anymore as well which can make this expression of your stance that much easier. Now the main thing here is your daughter and what happens when this conversation takes place. Have a civil conversation, you both should know exactly what will work and how to make this transition easiest for the child. However, staying together for the child is very unhealthy. The negative vibes, the bickering, the silence, the arguing, all these things will affect your precious daughter. I think cheating is a cowardly, selfish act and responsible adults address issues before assuming selfish acts. Be strong, stand above your situations and express yourself honestly. Good luck and please let me know how this unfolds.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I am scared and I don’t know what to do. I have cheated on my husband with a man that I thought was a sweetheart. He came to see me, went out his way, always thought he was so sexy. So many women want him and yet he chose me and that made me feel so special. I wasn’t very active with my husband because our work schedules conflict and I needed it so badly. I felt celibate and we were drinking and things happened. We continued to do this for 2 months, and wasn’t active with my husband at all, Now I went to the doctor and have contracted two std’s and it was from this guy. He is so sexy and healthy looking and it has to be him because I never cheated any other time. My husband is clean, I checked his record. I am terrified to tell my husband, the house, the car and everything is in his name. I’m afraid to hurt him and to be with nothing. What do I do?

First I want to say that a part of me is sorry for you contracting the diseases you did from your cheating ways, but that’s only part of me. It saddens me that your husband has to suffer this because of your selfish disgusting acts. Now this is all going to sound cruel but it isn’t, what you did was cruel, inconsiderate, unsafe and selfish. You should have been mature enough to express your sexual concerns with your husband, you should have been adult enough to assume your role in a relationship as stand by your vows. Your selfishness led to your compromised health. Your search to feel special and your honoring of this man that gave you the std’s you now any possibly forever will carry is sad in itself. There seems to be a stronger concern about being without than about the love for your husband which also tells of your character. You need to seek professional help and try to sort out some things to ride the road to a better you. I fear you have not learned your lesson and if not for these std’s you would not give a rats ass about your husband. The honorable thing to do is come clean to your husband for he is the innocent victim here. Sit him down and whatever you do, do NOT have sex with your husband and risk giving him your diseases. Communication is always the strongest component in any relationship, without it all else collapses. I wish you the best and please learn from this.