Tuesday, March 23, 2010


DEAR MR. LOVER MAN,I’m in a relationship with my woman and we are 4 hours apart. We only see each other every other weekend, sometimes we squeeze in an extra weekend here or there and its been 6 months and I am in love, so is she. Is this a relationship that can make it? Because I sometimes find myself wanting her all the time and I have to wait. Thank you from Long Distance Lover

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Long Distance Lover,
Your concern is one I find to be the norm when engaging in a long distance relationship. You want to know if I think that your relationship can make it? Of course I do, I believe love and io mean true love, has no time nor distance for existence. Some ways to make this work better is to find out what the goal is, are you guys willing to move closer, move together, is there a timeframe for that if so? These answers can give something strong to look forward to. The time you spend together must mean a lot. Express that every time you are not together, show appreciation and support. It isn’t easy for her too I’m sure. Do different things, make it more fun, ease the feelings of time apart. Skype when you can, sent letters, do not only rely on technology, become creative in expressing love. The real question here is how bad do you want this relationship to make it? True love can not be damaged by distance or time, true love will find a way until you both physically find a way. Good luck with everything, Let me know how it goes as time continues.

Dear Mr. Lover Man, I need help. I am in a bad relationship and I know its bad. We are at the end and I want to know how do you get over someone you love when they do not love you the same? Thanks, “Hard to Let Go”

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Hard to Let Go,
First thing you should know is that it is not about the other person and as long as you focus on the other person, you have given more power than you should to them and not enough to for you to heal. How do you feel about yourself, what’s your self-worth to you, do you feel good about yourself? You have to be willing to embrace that YOU are the most important person in your world and that your happiness is more important than how the other person feels. Now let me ask you this, why is it important how this person feels about you if its over? Letting go isn’t easy, but it is needed, especially when you have nothing to fight for. It is un fortunate when love fizzles, fades or doesn’t exist and one party wants so much more than the other because they tend to mislead themselves about the situation and get mad at the other person for not feeling the same. You have to be more mature and stand tall. Love yourself more than your situation and know you are great. In a perfect world, love with be equally shared amongst two people but that is not going to be the case, one must learn to love unselfishly and not expect so much. Love freely and heal within. Never settle for anything less than what you are willing to give. Desire to love unselfishly and achieve it. You will encounter a greater love. Good luck and please keep me posted.

Ask Mr. Lover Man, I want to know if I should you tell my good friend that I am falling in love with her? I am feeling like she is the one. Thank you for your time. Anonymous

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
This is not a yes or no answer type of question. Lets try to analyze what could happen and how strong is this friendship. The important thing here is the friendship, you knowing the person she is and if this confession will not hurt the friendship and you truly love her than I say take a chance but one must feel more confident in this choice. What do you hope to achieve from this? Be realistic with your thoughts and assess what the situation really is. Do NOT mislead yourself. If you are not sure she will accept this then say it indirectly, tell her about a “dream” you had. Tell her how much she means to you without creeping her out. This has to be about the friendship first if the friendship really means anything to you. If she isn’t comfortable with this confession you risk the chance of altering the friendship for the worst but if she is understanding then nothing gets worse, it may just be different for a little while. How comfortable are you with possible rejection? How comfortable are you with this friendship remaining the same despite your confession? These questions need to be asked when choosing. I say go for it, let it be known how you feel. The one thing you own in any relationship is how you feel. Just don’t be imposing about it, be honest without expectation. Tell her because you want her to know and not because you expect her to say the same. Good luck with that, send me a follow up email.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I am in a loving relationship, but my boyfriend is upset that we don't have sex as often as he'd like. I love having sex with him, but he's quick and there is no foreplay. He is not as big as I'd like but I've love the orgasms when I do have them. What can we do to make things better? Anonymous

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
Communication will guide you through. Make him aware in a nice way the importance of foreplay for you, you can implement some foreplay, leading him into the action, play with yourself and ask him to help you without him using his man tool. Allow him to explore your body with you and do not let him leave that practice, express the joys of it, let his exploring be acknowledged with pleasure. Teach him your body other than your vagina. As for his size, you can teach him positions that will allow you to feel him more, you can add toys to your sexual appetite with him, Giving him the honor of pleasing you nonetheless. You have to find a way to grow sexually with him, don’t expect him to just wake up and make moves he didn’t do before. It doesn’t work that way as men are often creatures of habit. Give him new habits, he is used to it a certain way, break that way and kearn ways you both will love. Every sexual act wont be amazing, take some time to find amazing all the time. As for his releasing a bit too soon, you can help him with that too. Grab him and stroke him, ask him to inform you when he is almost there, the release him, give him time to desensitize and stroke again, do so orally and learn to do so vaginally. These practices will help him to last longer in time. Working together and communicating about what works and what doesn’t will get you both to the point where sex is nothing short of amazing. Good luck with everything.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


Dear Mr. Lover Man,

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for roughly half a year. We became sexually involved about 3 weeks ago. My problem here is that he won't go down me. If I touch myself I can put my fingers in his mouth and he will lick it clean so I can say the taste can't be a problem. He is a good man and I can feel the love he displays but he just hasn't went down on me. He always wants me to give him oral. I assumed he should return the favor but I don't know why he won't go down on me. Please tell me something. I'm too embarrassed to ask why. Sincerely, What about me.

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear "What About Me"
I don't know if I can stress enough that communication is key. Your embarrassment is understandable if this conversation has not ever taken place. However, he is very comfortable with you shoving his manhood in your mouth so I'm very sure that the conversation of reciprocation should not be anything of insult. You have to address the curiosity and the pleasures you have heard of or witnessed, you must address how important that would mean to you and how hot you get when you think of him servicing you in such a way. The trick is to lure him into it with honesty. This is what you want and you will not get it by sitting quiet. The taste doesn't appear to be an issue but maybe he is worried that he wouldn't perform well. This could be a learning experience for you both, something you can grow together with and enhance the sex life tenfold. Communicate and express the level of heat it will bring to your bedroom (and anywhere else) activities. Good luck with that.

To Mr. lover Man,
My boyfriend can get on my nerves when it comes to anal sex, I mean I do it for him because he likes it and when I see it on TV I really like it but he does it so rough and hard and I'm always in pain and he has a piercing that has made me bleed twice and when I ask him to remove it or be gentle he doesn't. He says that its selfish for me to ask him to remove his piercing or change how he has sex and that he really loves me. Am I really being selfish? Truly, Pain is not pleasure

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear "Pain is not pleasure"
For the record you are not being selfish whatsoever, as a matter of fact you are being victimized. Unfortunately you are sleeping with someone who is even a huge idiot. I have to say that in honesty, one who compromises their physical, mental or emotional health to abuse to please such an inconsiderate asshole, you fall into the category which I mention. You have been disrespected, violated, and then told in some lame reverse psychological tactic that a 7 year old can figure out that YOU are being selfish. You need to seek help for your role in tolerating such a perverse act. You also need to consider how could someone who purposely inflicts physical and emotional harm to you for his sick psychological pleasures be worth remaining in a relationship with. Love doesn't hurt and these acts are not filled with love. Please consider seeking professional help, look into asserting yourself as this feels borderline criminal. Also re-evaluate why you are even in this situation because I have a bad feeling you should run. Please keep me posted.

Dear Dear Mr. Lover Man
I am shy in person but I love knowing that men see pictures of me in sexual poses and then getting their feedback as to how much I turn them on and what they want to do to me. I'm in a very loving relationship, is it bad that I want other men lusting over me? Is this cheating? Anonymous

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear "Anonymous"
Let me state that it is not up to me to determine if this act is cheating but up to a united decision by you and your partner. How would you feel if this was in reverse or even if he was stripping for women without you there and they were lusting over him? I don't know what to say because that's an individualized agreement between two parties. However, as for your "I'm shy but want men lusting my pics and expressing themselves" I see someone seeking validation for one or some of many reasons, one can be the lack of it at some important phase of life, it could be a sexual desire that you have to have multiple men and this is a way of psychologically fulfilling that. Many reasons have been known to answer why you are so into this. Is this a bad thing? I do not believe this to be a bad thing but then again I am not the man you are in a relationship with. I think it is perfectly fine and should be surfaced honestly. You should bring it up that you wanted to send pics to your partner and to have him\her show them to someone to see what they think and to have him report it back to you. Give him a role and maybe this will work. Men tend to show pics more often of their partner than women do anyway. Good luck with that. Keep me posted.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I have been dating this guy for a few months (3-4) now and the sex is as strong as the relationship. Last night he asked me something that left me bewildered. He wants me to have a threesome with him and his best friend who is a guy. Being that this is his best friend, I feel a bit weird, what if we are permanent and I have to see this best friend all the time? Wouldn't that be completely weird and awkward and uncomfortable? He tells me that you live once and should try it but I am not sure about it. It seems weird that he is ok with watching his best friend do things with his girl. He says him and his best friend have been talking about it for a couple weeks. I'm curious and afraid at the same time. I'm not sure what to do. Confused

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear "Confused"
This seems like you both are on two different pages about what this "relationship" really is. You state a few key things that grab my eye. You have been dating 3-4 months but him and his best friend have been having this conversation for a few weeks. This leads me to believe that early on he had this planned out with his friend and waited until you were more emotionally attached and would contemplate doing this (as it appears to be true now). Also, you made a statement about you worry about what if this "relationship" becomes permanent, trust me "Confused" this will not be permanent. In such a short period of time for him and his best friend to have this plan without you having knowledge of it sounds like a threesome that they are going to love and brag about. You need to only commit yourself to acts that YOU want to do and YOU feel comfortable with and I clearly don't get that vibe from you. tell him no, tell him you are not comfortable and see how or if this "relationship" changes. If so then you know I was right, if not then at least in another time period much longer than the time you have been involved, you can entertain the thought. Do NOT mislead yourself ever about what a relationship is. Good luck. Please keep me posted.