Sunday, March 14, 2010


Dear Mr. Lover Man,

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for roughly half a year. We became sexually involved about 3 weeks ago. My problem here is that he won't go down me. If I touch myself I can put my fingers in his mouth and he will lick it clean so I can say the taste can't be a problem. He is a good man and I can feel the love he displays but he just hasn't went down on me. He always wants me to give him oral. I assumed he should return the favor but I don't know why he won't go down on me. Please tell me something. I'm too embarrassed to ask why. Sincerely, What about me.

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear "What About Me"
I don't know if I can stress enough that communication is key. Your embarrassment is understandable if this conversation has not ever taken place. However, he is very comfortable with you shoving his manhood in your mouth so I'm very sure that the conversation of reciprocation should not be anything of insult. You have to address the curiosity and the pleasures you have heard of or witnessed, you must address how important that would mean to you and how hot you get when you think of him servicing you in such a way. The trick is to lure him into it with honesty. This is what you want and you will not get it by sitting quiet. The taste doesn't appear to be an issue but maybe he is worried that he wouldn't perform well. This could be a learning experience for you both, something you can grow together with and enhance the sex life tenfold. Communicate and express the level of heat it will bring to your bedroom (and anywhere else) activities. Good luck with that.

To Mr. lover Man,
My boyfriend can get on my nerves when it comes to anal sex, I mean I do it for him because he likes it and when I see it on TV I really like it but he does it so rough and hard and I'm always in pain and he has a piercing that has made me bleed twice and when I ask him to remove it or be gentle he doesn't. He says that its selfish for me to ask him to remove his piercing or change how he has sex and that he really loves me. Am I really being selfish? Truly, Pain is not pleasure

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear "Pain is not pleasure"
For the record you are not being selfish whatsoever, as a matter of fact you are being victimized. Unfortunately you are sleeping with someone who is even a huge idiot. I have to say that in honesty, one who compromises their physical, mental or emotional health to abuse to please such an inconsiderate asshole, you fall into the category which I mention. You have been disrespected, violated, and then told in some lame reverse psychological tactic that a 7 year old can figure out that YOU are being selfish. You need to seek help for your role in tolerating such a perverse act. You also need to consider how could someone who purposely inflicts physical and emotional harm to you for his sick psychological pleasures be worth remaining in a relationship with. Love doesn't hurt and these acts are not filled with love. Please consider seeking professional help, look into asserting yourself as this feels borderline criminal. Also re-evaluate why you are even in this situation because I have a bad feeling you should run. Please keep me posted.

Dear Dear Mr. Lover Man
I am shy in person but I love knowing that men see pictures of me in sexual poses and then getting their feedback as to how much I turn them on and what they want to do to me. I'm in a very loving relationship, is it bad that I want other men lusting over me? Is this cheating? Anonymous

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear "Anonymous"
Let me state that it is not up to me to determine if this act is cheating but up to a united decision by you and your partner. How would you feel if this was in reverse or even if he was stripping for women without you there and they were lusting over him? I don't know what to say because that's an individualized agreement between two parties. However, as for your "I'm shy but want men lusting my pics and expressing themselves" I see someone seeking validation for one or some of many reasons, one can be the lack of it at some important phase of life, it could be a sexual desire that you have to have multiple men and this is a way of psychologically fulfilling that. Many reasons have been known to answer why you are so into this. Is this a bad thing? I do not believe this to be a bad thing but then again I am not the man you are in a relationship with. I think it is perfectly fine and should be surfaced honestly. You should bring it up that you wanted to send pics to your partner and to have him\her show them to someone to see what they think and to have him report it back to you. Give him a role and maybe this will work. Men tend to show pics more often of their partner than women do anyway. Good luck with that. Keep me posted.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I have been dating this guy for a few months (3-4) now and the sex is as strong as the relationship. Last night he asked me something that left me bewildered. He wants me to have a threesome with him and his best friend who is a guy. Being that this is his best friend, I feel a bit weird, what if we are permanent and I have to see this best friend all the time? Wouldn't that be completely weird and awkward and uncomfortable? He tells me that you live once and should try it but I am not sure about it. It seems weird that he is ok with watching his best friend do things with his girl. He says him and his best friend have been talking about it for a couple weeks. I'm curious and afraid at the same time. I'm not sure what to do. Confused

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear "Confused"
This seems like you both are on two different pages about what this "relationship" really is. You state a few key things that grab my eye. You have been dating 3-4 months but him and his best friend have been having this conversation for a few weeks. This leads me to believe that early on he had this planned out with his friend and waited until you were more emotionally attached and would contemplate doing this (as it appears to be true now). Also, you made a statement about you worry about what if this "relationship" becomes permanent, trust me "Confused" this will not be permanent. In such a short period of time for him and his best friend to have this plan without you having knowledge of it sounds like a threesome that they are going to love and brag about. You need to only commit yourself to acts that YOU want to do and YOU feel comfortable with and I clearly don't get that vibe from you. tell him no, tell him you are not comfortable and see how or if this "relationship" changes. If so then you know I was right, if not then at least in another time period much longer than the time you have been involved, you can entertain the thought. Do NOT mislead yourself ever about what a relationship is. Good luck. Please keep me posted.

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