Tuesday, December 29, 2009


Dear Mr. Lover Man,

So.....this is my problem. I do not have any type of faith in men. I have been hurt more times then I can remember, therefore I do not even put myself out there for the possibility. I know that is not healthy blah blah blah but there is this guy that just seems to be perfect. We have dated in the past and I have pulled one of my moves to push him away and it lasted for a couple of months. Now out of the blue he hits me up. I am not planning on fucking him, but I am planning on trying to put myself out there. Do you think this is a stupid move? I understand many men I am a female with more male friends then anything, but I can not figure him out what so ever HELP… Anonymous

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,

Well, I see this common problem and I always wish that people would seek someone professionally in a one on one setting. What you do not need is to keep trying to figure men out, that’s not your niche, and you are not great at that no matter how many male friends you have. Your words that show you have been hurt more times than you can remember shows that maybe something you are doing plays a role. Those issues that have attributed to your being hurt more times than you can remember need to be addressed in order for real healing to begin. Your quest to figure out this guy who you are considering giving a chance to isn’t going to help. You are no man expert, what you need is to e a “YOU” expert. You willing to take a chance is great and I truly wish you the best but the one thing that screams out to me here is that you need to fix something within. Talk to him honestly, share your feelings and concerns, trust that he can handle the honest conversation as long as its tone is real and with true emotion, I would love to know this story turns out in the greatest of endings, please keep me informed of its progress.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
Hello Mr. Loverman - I wonder if smart, confident men are frightened by me or simply not fully interested in me. Please give me your take. I seem to attract men who have low self-esteem. They tend to be extremely attracted to my beauty and confidence. However, I am attracted to men with high self-esteem. Smart men seem to admire me and my confidence, but they keep their distance and seem afraid to have a "real" relationship with me. They almost seem to be afraid of the idea that two smart, sexy, confident people could be together (like it would be too good to be true). I wonder if "real long-term relationships" can only occur between two people who are opposites. I notice that in many relationships and marriages there is typically one "weaker" person paired with a more "dominant" personality. Rarely do I see two dominant people together - but that is what I desire. I DO NOT want to be the only dominant person in a relationship - although I have a naturally domineering personality (which seems to attract weaker men). Am I being unrealistic to expect a match with an attractive, confident man? Many men have called me "dangerous" or "too much". Women have even complimented my confidence level and seem to admire my natural ability to lead. Although this may seem flattering, it's really annoying - because I may have to settle with a man who has low self-esteem, since that is what I seem to attract the most. What is your take on this? Thank you in advance for your advice. Ms. Confident seeking Mr. Confident

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Ms. Confident seeking Mr. Confident,
First thing I want to say is that I stand tall, tip my hat and applaud a woman of strength and strong self confidence. I want to immediately state that smart and confident men would not be intimidated by this or they would not e smart and confident men. Academia alone doesn’t determine smart, corporate or financial status doesn’t determine confident, and I say this because I’m not sure how you are measuring men on a smart and confident level. Another thing I want to eliminate is the notion that you are being unrealistic to expect an attractive confident man, you are being VERY realistic and many situations I am intimately familiar with have a dual strong base and both parties strong in aspects the other may note but strong nonetheless. Your natural ability to lead is something I think is wonderful but I wonder if the men you call “smart and confident” perceive your natural ability to lead as maybe something else. This is something you should really think about and yearn to want to find answers to. Some men and women with equal academia and financial success still have totally different perceptions to the same situation. Your domineering personality will tend to attract weaker men because some weaker men love the motherly figure, the notion that someone will take charge for them and assist. Unless you are willing to settle (and I am anti-settle for less) you need to find out how you are coming across to these men in a relationship setting because your ability to lead may be too bossy or whatever someone may see that you don’t. I never met a man who is what I consider smart and confident want a weaker and less successful woman. That wouldn’t make him too smart. Studies from all over actually show that men find strong confidence way more sexy and appealing than low self esteem. Ignore the stereotype and search. Please keep me posted and I want an invite to the wedding you will have because of this. Good luck.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
What I found is that in most every question posed to you the people asking the questions are merely asking questions about having sex... no one speaks about making love!!! Is making love becoming a lost to mere primal urges and getting "pounded" as you say?? First having studied different aspects of love and relationships, and touching and pleasing the human body one thing I have found is that if a spiritual connection between two people is involved it brings far more satisfaction than what one can do by physical means alone. You satisfy the soul, physical satisfaction will explode in firework fashion. Grace and finesse can bring extreme pleasure where aggression can bring pain, shame and darkness. Too many men want to execute penetration by slamming it in, rather that making a loving, caring, slow entry. I can tell you from my own standpoint, (and I speak for myself and no one else) that there is nothing more creepy, nothing more painful and nothing more fearful to me in the bedroom than to have a man do that to me. I'm no virgin but it still remains that way to me after all these years. That happens and I look for the nearest and fastest escape right then and there.
On the other hand having the act executed with real love is pure splendor, emotionally, physically, spiritually all the way. And men who believe they themselves cannot attain those heights of ecstasy are cheating themselves.
Having studied a variety of massage techniques all the way from deep tissue to gentle touch to erotic, I know that men can find incredible pleasure in such applications given by a woman who does so with love. Here again, I speak for myself, I personally could spend hours exploring a man's body, seeking to build him up to the greatest heights of pure bliss while giving all of myself to him from the depths of my heart as well.
Gentle caresses and soft touches and deep gazes into eyes with soft sincere whispers of loving words are an amazing combination in the love making experience. But also take some time to adequately prepare. Have the body oil warm. Water-based lubricants can feel so amazing if you wrap the bottle in a heating pad beforehand. Put on a CD of a thunderstorm and light some candles. Nothing too perfumey though. Something mild and earthy is a great way to warm things up. Turn off the bright lights. Spend time talking; I personally love that with a glass of good red wine. And you are 110% right about making eye contact; I think that's so important on so may levels. Not only is it incredibly sensual but it also allows one to read their loved one's expressions. "Is what I'm doing feeling good to him?" "Is there any signs of discomfort or disinterest?" And when those sentiments are reciprocated toward me it then makes me want to give things and do things that I might ordinarily feel uncomfortable or apprehensive about giving and doing. For instance, while I love to give oral sex, I need to trust someone a lot in order to feel comfortable in receiving it. And there is nothing that will send my heart racing and set the fires blazing than for a man who loves and cares for me to "Take Me!!!" And I mean "TAKE ME"!!! LOL!! But that has to come after that trust and that trust comes through love. Can you kinda see what I'm saying? If that makes sense to you and only if you agree then perhaps you might wanna relay the message in your own words to your subscribers but that is totally up to you. And if you don't agree then that's fine too. Just thought I'd throw my two-sense in. Any who... I do so love your blog. And will be looking forward to reading your future posts. Sincerely Love Still Exists.

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Love Still Exists,
I want to say I honor your mind and heart with all that I am. I think that our society has taking a turn from the passionate love making with that soulful connection in exchange for animalistic sexual pleasure. With saying that, I do NOT mean that as a whole, I mean that to say that our movies reflect that, our music reflect that, studies show that porn access is easier and the aggressiveness in it is at an all time high and it is one of the leading influences in sexual activity. Does passionate love making from within exists? Of course, I think what people are asking is for improvement in areas to improve in learning a momentary pleasing. These short moments can and will lead to long term pleasing. The act of love in a sexual form is the greatest physical act known to the human species, and I wish that was a bigger demand that the random sexual pounding. Time and age changes the demand and aggression in sex is higher than it’s ever been statistically and although its how society has shifted, it doesn’t make it the only physical sexual expression. Most women I converse with wish to experience both and a majority of them tell me they never made love but have had incredible sex. I 100% see where you are at and I agree with you, but people that have experience animalistic sex without the passionate tender caring that you describe really don’t search for what doesn’t exist in their world. The message should be conveyed without being swayed. Your words are a great start and I appreciate that. Making love doesn’t come from the genitals; it comes from the depths of the soul and the core of the heart, the body is just the messenger of these feelings in a physical form. In 2010 we should bring back love making, LOL. Hope that made you smile. Thank you so much for this post and I look forward to more from you, maybe even a post of your own. Thank you.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I love this man; I enjoy him in diverse ways. I could make you a list at a moment’s notice. In my heart I want him for my own forever. Stepping back for a moment to say that in areas of life, I arrive at important decisions through logic. I need to understand who he is. I like his spirit and who he is to mebut as I have observed him indirectly via social media I wonder who is that guy? I can’t seem to reconcile these different versions of him and for me this raises concerns. I crave the peace and assurance of knowing my guy and when I see these sides of him I don’t feel sure I do accurately know him. Whats happening here? Double Take

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Double Take,
I see your concern and this is the case of the social media invasion. Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, etc have invaded our homes more so than we like to admit. It has become as relevant as your computer itself or cell phone. Many people use this to test certain areas of life and have a free audience to receive a free response, is he trying to convey something and what exactly is it that he is doing that raises concern? The normal thing is usually the flirtatious nature in which these sites make so easy. It is safest to e flirtatious on the internet than anywhere else and at times it is harmless. Some people I know are only flirtatious through these safe means and find fun in it but never use that in person. Hiding behind a computer screen at home is safe. Is he giving out personal information? Is he meeting people? That would raise concerns to me, things less than that do not but should be addressed because your heart is on the line. What is his angle is the way he is on the social media that disturbing that it can’t be worked through? You asked “What’s happening here?” and I think that unless he is giving out information or making “hang out” sessions than or claiming to e available or perverse, than this is something that could be spoken through and worked out. Address that you do not like his social media behavior and come to a common grounding where you both are happy. Good luck and please keep me posted as this goes forward.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Questions that need answering

Mr. Lover Man,

I know you and you me, I follow u on Twitter. My question is can a man and woman really be just friends without sex. I have a male friend who I really like and we talk and have fun together. Laugh and joke, and I feel very comfortable with him. No sex, I'm married with children, he's not, but has "fuck buddies". I like him and enjoy our time together. Do u think we can just be friends and continue to enjoy our friendship? I hope so. Take care.

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous

The question is ever ongoing and it is a definite YES. However, that doesn’t mean that this friend will not cross lines or you will. I wonder with this question posed with this individual in mind, do you have intentions to cross lines. If so, you need to weigh out your marriage and family life and realize the hurt this will cause. It is possible to be friends with him and no one can cross lines. I know this well, ironically most of my friends are females with lines uncrossed because friendship has value and because other avenues of life have value. Never lose the value and you both have potential to be great friends always. Best of luck. Let me know how it turns out in time.

Mr. Lover Man,
I am wondering two questions, one) how can I improve my orgasm and two) How do I know if I am good enough for my man in oral sex? From:Curious

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Curious,
To the first question, you should know that one in four women have difficulties achieving orgasms. Foreplay is known as the greatest weapon in successful improvement in orgasms, also it is a great idea to find and experiment with sexual positions that stimulate g-spot and clitoris. Learn to tighten and strengthen your pelvic muscles, sort of like if you are stopping yourself from urinating, in sessions of 12. Repeat this practice 8-10 times a day to yourself and you will see an incredible improvement. Second question, when you invite yourself down to service your partner orally, use verbal stimulation, remind him how much it pleases you to do this, tell him how badly you want his hardness in your mouth, that already gives you a mental edge. Use confidence, grip his manhood with your hands and mouth as if letting him know unspoken that he is in for the oral treatment of his life. You should moan in pleasure as well while taking him in your mouth, slide your hands up and down his rod while you engulf him orally, and give him eye contact. Don’t wink, that’s corny and cheesy LOL. Use one of your hands to fondle and caress his testicles, giving it almost equal attention, shift your body and work your mouth in different angles. Switch up sucking, licking, stroking, mix orders, throw him off course and you will give him an eye rolling sucking for the ages. Good luck and enjoy this act.

Mr. Lover Man,
I’m wondering, when men go down on me and give me oral sex, how do I even know if I taste good to them or if I smell good? Thank you. Natalie

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Natalie,
You should know that men LOVE and I mean absolutely LOVE the smell and taste of a freshly washed vagina. Are you aware that men are turned on y natural aromas of partners more than sprays and things? It is true, studies support this. The best way to ensure that there isn’t any unnecessary sweat or smells is to shower with soap and water before hand. Make showering together a part of foreplay and then take it to the bed, the floor, the kitchen or wherever and this will give you the freshness that will keep him feasting longterm. Good luck.

Mr. Lover Man,
7 years ago I dated this man for 2 years that I thought was 'the one' then we started to drift apart and things just kind of slowly faded away. I always thought about him over the years and never really got over him (probably because we never had closure). I would wonder if there was something I could've should've done, he told me back then that I 'let him get away with too much' and I've learned over the years that sometimes I can be too independent and don't always let a man be a man. I also remember him telling me that he had never been in a monogamous relationship, he's always cheated! We reconnected earlier this year and I found out that he got married 4 months after we stopped seeing each other (he's since told me he was dating the both of us plus a few others at the same time). He has apologized for the way things ended and that I had to find out from a mutual friend that he's married & has 2 little ones. He says he walked away because he couldn't deal with some of the financial things that I was going through and things with my sons father (which I don't get because I never asked him for a dime and never brought him anything i was going through to try and be my problem solver, and he was going through more drama then me with his daughters mother). I'm a couple years older then him and I think he felt that I should've been more financially & materially accomplished at my age then I was at the time (especially since he was). The woman he ended up marrying is his age, had no kids at the time, and was making decent money like him. She is also not someone I would've ever pictured him marrying, he says he gets that a lot from family & friends. He is all into his appearance & she's very plain jane and not too attractive. Now here we are in our mid and late 30's and we've been in constant communication for almost the past year, no physical contact but admittedly there's feelings still here on both parts but I definitely don't want to be a part helping to destroy a marriage nor am I going to play 2nds to anybody and I've told him all of this. He tells me he hasn't cheated on his wife; our mutual friend implies something different. Things he says leads me to believe he has cheated, like he has talked about how his wife will accuse him of sleeping with women he says are his friends, he complains that she doesn't have enough sex with him, she told him if it wasn't for their kids she would've divorced him by now, yet he says he doesn't want to get a divorce because he wants his kids to grow up in this ideal family and he wants to come home to them and see them grow up everyday etc etc. Then I can't contact him by phone, I lost his number years ago & he won't give it to me again because he says he doesn't want me 'caught up in his web' - when i questioned that he said because his wife will think he's sleeping with me cause she thinks that about most of his female friends. I haven't really had a relationship since him, dates here and there but no one important enough that I’ve introduced my son to or anything. Luckily my son was pretty small when me & this man ended so he doesn't remember him. It's been about a year since we've been back in touch and I've seen him maybe 3 or 4 times, he's never tried anything but he's always bringing up what we used to do, places we used to go, fun we used to have, he tells me he loves me, and really cares about me. He was contacting me just about every day, a few months ago i couldn't take it anymore and was feeling bad about this emotional bond we're starting to have again, I told him we needed to end all communication & he needed to focus on his marriage and stop talking to me about his problems since he doesn't want a divorce, it's hard enough for us as black women to get married and I don't want to hurt her...or be hurt myself! I told him to get back in touch with me if he ever ended up divorced. He said he understood & would respect my decision and that lasted about a month! He called me a month later with some bs excuse and we've been in communication again, not daily this time but still! I'm more mentally, spiritually, emotionally mature now then I was 7 years ago, make more than 3 times what I was making then and I wonder if all of this is making him think he should've hung in there, or if he's just looking for some excitement again since kids can really change a relationship. Their kids are only 2 and 3.
I don't know how to handle my feelings and it hurts to see someone you love love someone else & have a family with them (I've told him all this)...a part of me is jealous that this woman has the life I wanted with this man - the marriage, kids, house, cars, vacations, family life, the day-to-day bustle etc, then I wonder if it's just that I'm lonely because I haven't found anyone that I'm that compatible with again, it's probably a combination of all of this and I don't know how to deal with these feelings. Some days I'm fine and loving life but then some days it just hits that I want this life with this man, I'm getting older with no prospects of a husband in sight & I'm constantly getting the 'why are you still single? I can't believe you're still single!!' from him and everyone else. Will no good come out of just remaining friends with him? Once a cheater always a cheater? Does he really love me & care like he claims?? Do I need to end all contact with him and if so, how do I finally get him out of my heart if feelings have still lingered after all these years and I truly care about him as a person?? :(

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Confused,
It is safest to detach from this individual. The idea of anything ever happening between you two are u healthy and put so many others hearts at risk. It doesn’t seem like his heart has as much room for you as yours does for him. It seems like he wants to get as much of the old “moments” as he can. If he makes attempts of contact against your wishes and even though married, it shows the level of honor and respect this man has and this is a guaranteed recipe for disaster. The mutual friend is another component that doesn’t sit well with me, this friend is reporting different news than this person and I really think you should not be concerned with who he has in his life because you are going to ruin many hearts. I do not think he loves you as he says because actions have always been the best spokesperson for love. People are able to change, that’s a fact, however, he doesn’t seem to have reached that point and you cannot bring him there. He must want it and he doesn’t right now.
As far as you being single, that is something that can be changed, are you looking for another of “him”? That is failure waiting to happen. Maybe you should speak to a professional, if not you should search within and take time to find what you want and need from your inner soul. You being jealous lingers within and can corrode the soul. Be strong and take time to find happiness inside and this will attract better men and people around you. I wish you the best. Please let me know how this plays out.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
So I have been trying to stay away from sex. I have found that it was my escape to everything in my life. I am not a slut and my numbers are not up there, but I am soooo damn frustrated that I do not know what to do. I am not trying to repeat the same mistakes as my past and have sex for the sake of having sex. What should I do? No name.

Using sex as an escape does not get rid of problems; it gives a moment of a better activity but not a solution. When engaging, one should know why this activity takes place and one should have a connection that isn’t an escape alone. When sex becomes an escape, it robs you of the emotional value of doing the most remarkable physical acts with the one you love and takes from the beauty of the entire act. Of course a good pounding is great for you but can pale in comparison to a good pounding from someone who wants to please you for you and not being used as an escape from everything in your life. I hope the best for you, consider seeing a professional, it will help for sure. Keep me posted.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Is It Me?

Dear Mr Lover Man

I've been seeing this guy for 5 yrs now
But we're not in a relationship we've just been having sex for 5 yrs any man I've dated I've cheated on them with him and him he was with his ex for 4 yrs but now there no longer together.
Now in the 5 yrs a lot has happened with us we've gone on small getaway's spend long weekends together visit with each other’s family ect... I've grown very strong feelings for this man in this time I’m in LOVE with him I don't want to sleep with any other man I can't even look at any other men I told him how I feel and that I'll be damned if another bitch came in here and took a spot that's rightfully mine when the time is right for us both I want be together.

He said he's just coming out of 4 yrs and he needs time to himself but when he's ready we can do this. Now my question is do you think I've wasted my time with him and it’s never going to go anywhere besides sex or should I keep the faith? (Btw him & his ex still live together he hasn't moved out yet)


MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Karina,
Here is a harsh reality about your situation, you are easy ass. Close your jaw and continue to read. You gave this man a second thrill for 5 years; you have done so through your own relationships and through his. He has had access to you for 5 years and even throughout this broken up 4 year relationship and yet he needs time to himself? Is this time with his dick away from you? Or is this “time” an alleged time away from relationships? Quite frankly my dear, you have reached the climax of what you mean to him. You are sex anytime, thrills and trips when the main one isn’t available, you are always number two. Now the question is, do you have a higher value for yourself? If so then what you need to do is move forward and be the woman you can e and put yourself first. This is unhealthy for so many reasons and you have to seek counseling if you find yourself in these situations because you are worth more than this. Please seek help and let me know how life treats you. Good Luck. Mr. Lover Man

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I have this problem with my relationships, I always find that I want to be friends with my ex boyfriends and at times it tends to become too much for my boyfriends. Is there something wrong with that? I still like my ex boyfriends and although I sometimes get jealous of my boyfriends female friends, I believe that women can have a male friend better than a man could have a female. Men can’t be trusted as much. What do you think?

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous
First thing, I want to start off and say that you need to realize what you are saying. You are saying it is ok for you to have a male friend because you are a female and it is not ok for a male because males can’t be trusted? And why are your MALE ex-boyfriends who used to sleep with you so much more trusting than your boyfriend’s female friends? Do you realize that I contemplated even entertaining this question? You asked what I think right. I think you are selfish and you need to stop wanting attention from your ex’s. Being friends is fine but alienating your boyfriend’s friends for a theory not proven true is very high school. You should want happiness for your partner as much as you want for yourself, anything less is selfishness and you display it here. You need to think about the other people in your life and put our feet in other people’s shoes. Good luck.

Mr. Lover Man (Shabba) LOL
I find that my fiancé and I get bored easy and I tend to stray away to other men. I don’t know what to do; the thing is I get bored with these new men too. I’m just looking for some good sex. I want my fiancé to step his sex up but I don’t know why he doesn’t. I want to tell him but I don’t want to hurt him. What do I do?

I’m glad that you say you do not want to hurt your fiancé, however, your actions tell another story. Your sexcapades running through town ultimately will hurt him and if you’re not careful (if it isn’t too late) you run a risk of bringing your fiancé an STD and that will definitely hurt him. You then get bored with all these side men and you have to wonder what it is about you that bring this boredom. Communication is essential if there is anything to save with your fiancé. First, ask yourself, do you deserve him at this stage in your life? If so, are you willing to give up the extracurricular dicks for your fiancé? If you feel there is something worth saving then you have to talk to him. Do not e blunt and tell him the sex isn’t working but introduce things with a curiosity to it. Men tend to love being the first to have done something. Tell him you had a conversation with the girls and they mentioned these certain sex acts were amazing and you wanted to try that with him. Now don’t make it like its substituting his norm, but instead adding to it. This is much more acceptable and saves the ego. Good luck Dee-Dee and put the extra dicks down. LOL.

Mister Lover Man,
Is there something wrong with me because I cry at emotional things? My girlfriend tends to look annoyed if I shed a tear at a very sad moment or at a very touching movie. I feel like I should e comfortable expressing my feelings but she is so cold at times and it is turning me off. Should I leave?
Real Man

First thing I want to say is that you using the name “Real Man” makes me wonder how much you question the level of your manhood because of you girlfriend and if I’m right, you are already in dire need of counseling. There is nothing wrong with shedding tears, nothing at all. You have to communicate with her about this and find out her perception on this and state how it makes you feel. Your opinion should be valued as so should hers but no one should be mean or offensive. Gender roles are so distorted that some ignorant people associate men who cry as weak or inferior and do not realize there is strength to release. Good luck and never be afraid to express yourself.

Mr. Lover Man,
I am stuck in a relationship with a man who I am realizing I don’t love anymore. The beginning was great and it’s been a few months and now he is different. I met him and I am not ashamed to say it was love at first sight, I saw him in the club, we hit it off, we bedded one another that night and it was great, but now he seems so different. What to do?

Do you realize that you did not know him when you slept with him? Do you also realize that now is about when you are getting to know him? You have allowed sex as a distraction to alter your decisions and mislead your emotions and now that sex is no longer the only component, you are seeing this man for who he is and you realize he is more than looks and sex and you seeing him different doesn’t mean he changed, it just means that the sex simmered down and he is able to surface. Take this as a lesson to not bed so quickly and learn your partner if you want something other than sex. You can open new lines of verbal communication and see who he is. Learn more about him and if you are not happy, then do not drag him along. Be honest always and communicate about everything. Good Luck.


Friday, December 4, 2009

Caring Enough Will Improve Your Sex Life

I often hear men and women alike brag about their sexual performance and I often ask their partner in private and get a totally different perception to the lover’s performance. Now that is not something to laugh at, often men are misguided by the activities of pornography and think every woman is built to handle a physical thrashing like the women on their favorite website. Men think because women always tell them how good they are or they fake orgasms that they truly fit this title and they never progress. That’s shame on the liar. Women tend to talk about how well she moves it and brag about how her vagina is this tight, this wet and does this trick and in reality, so does most vaginas. There is more to being a better lover than the penis and vagina and if you doubt this then you have a lot to learn and many partners to abandon you.

Let’s start with the MEN:

First thing I say is MOST important is the level of respect one treats their partner when being a lover. It’s not a self serving prophecy to jump on your partner pump fast and hard, release your juices and call it a night. Men you should make it MANDATORY to learn what makes your partner climax best, that’s your duty as her lover.

Are you aware that 83% of women state that they are not kissed enough during their sexual/love making sessions? I don’t even know if this needs an explanation. Stop focusing on only the oral, anal and vaginal!!!! There is more you idiot!! K=Learn to give intimate kisses in these i ntimate times.

Oral sex. Nuff said.

Ok, I’ll speak on it a bit. The best way to prepare a woman (statistically) for the greatest pleasurable sex is to definitely ad oral sex in the mix. One must learn to arouse her, relax her and heighten the moment with the power of the oral in order to make this possible. I won’t go into details but learn what makes your partner quiver and moan, convulse and collapse and you are ahead of the game for total preparation for love making.

Find out what your partner wants, communicate with her and learn everything about her. Do NOT be judgmental if her sexual drive or desires differ from yours, be open-minded and ask questions. This is not about you buddy but about you both. You want her then learn to communicate effectively and share with her. Be willing to try new things and don’t expect to be an expert right away, learn it and master it and you will see dramatic changes.

Pay attention to her erogenous zones and learn her body as much as she does or better. Men tend to think attacking the breast and clitoris are the best ways to turn her on enough to give her a good slamming and that is very juvenile. The g-spot, belly button, neck, inner thighs, back of the knees, lower back and even ear lobes on some women can heighten mood stimulation and bring arousal levels to an extreme high. Let her know you love turning her on, express how good it feels to kiss her and to love her and give her attention. Saying how good it feels to be inside her is nice but who doesn’t say that? Learn to be more than the guy who just had sex.

Now we mentioned the g-spot and let me tell you that there are myths and rumors about this and people often don’t know what the heck they are talking about when it comes to this. I often overhear wrong information passed over and just want to laugh. I often tell people who have trouble finding the g-spot, “Have you asked her if your there?” Men really don’t want to ask because they often have their manhood measured by sexual performance and that with the mix of a lying woman who fakes orgasms, you both are doomed to fail. Women should create a comfort level for this type of talk and men should not e afraid to ask, it shows your concern for her pleasure.

Now statistically 3 of the best g-spot hitting positions are so common and yet the right shift here or there will give that right touch that will drive her wild. First one is the infamous “Doggystyle”. This position is usually the man behind slamming into her, but not today it isn’t. Allow the lady to have the control, yes fellas it is not a bad thing. Let her use her thighs to press back as she is crouched down, this gives her the ability to find the best depth and position for the right thrust that works best for her. It is ok to become more involved and active after she finds this, adjust to this position and push her down lay into her from behind. And this will enable your penis (no matter the size) to push in at a downward angle and gives access to hitting the g-spot. Open her legs, close them, ut ask to find out which one best suit her please. Plus there is something about the animalistic positioning of doggy style that gives men pleasure, so it’s a win/win.

Second is you standing or kneeling down with her legs on your shoulders. Keep her legs spread wide on your shoulders and get creative, the angle will deliver the thrust needed to e a g-spot pro.

Third is having the woman on top. Yes this old common position can be a g-spot hitter if she is controlling depth, speed, tension and the intensity level. This gives her the ability to move, grind, lean in any position she feels fit to adjust for that hit. Talk to her while she rides you into the sunset, tell her how it feels, how you want her to feel and how wonderful, sexy and gorgeous she is. There is almost no greater sight than a woman riding you and looking at you will the face of every emotion. The talking is mental stimulation, and that is as important if not more than the physical aspect.

Also remember, when the physical act is over, allow her to determine how quick you go to sleep or jump in a shower. Men have been known to be insensitive in this area but both genders do so. Recap the act, tell her how much you enjoyed it, cuddle with her, tell her how special she is and how special the moment was.

WOMEN, now don’t think I forgot you:

Leave something for the mind, let his imagination run wild and want you more. Most people assume a woman’s position by what she wears. Maintain a level of class and integrity and you can still be sexy, gorgeous, and a stand out. Learn to incorporate class and sexy together and you will have them running to you.

Despite what miserable, bitter women say, men love independent women with a good self esteem. A man likes to play the hero, the giver, the protector but he also needs a partner and not a daughter. Men are driven by a string woman and love to have a woman who knows her worth. This keeps him on point, he knows his woman is strong and no push over and allows a loving challenge and pushes both further. If you doubt this, that’s because you attract losers and you need to re-evaluate yourself. When men tell you how wonderful you are, it feels good that you know he speaks truth and not that he has to waste the moment to convince you. Love yourself in order to love him.

Love your physical self as well. Men love women who flaunt for their man, and find it so hard to e extremely turned on y a woman who hides her body or doesn’t show herself to him at all in any sexual way. Your body is yours, learn to love it. You have your partner and he loves it, don’t shy it away from him. Love yourself, inside and out.

Men love a woman who is not afraid to express that she wants sex and she loves it. Sex should NEVER be forbidden language for adults and should be as great conversation and comfortable as any other, especially with partners. Ladies, being sexually confident will not only drive him insanely sexual for you but will most likely make him loyal. Study shows that sexually confident women and sexually open women have much more loyal men than those that aren’t. Talk dirty or learn to. This does not devalue you; it actually gives you more sexual value with your partner. Ask him if he likes it (9out of 10 men do) and learn to describe what you want by him. This will heighten the sex from good to great.

Never wait for him to make the sexual advances, that is not the gender role and one should think individually, do NOT assume men are mind readers and know exactly every time you are in heat. Grab him, kiss him, tell him how hot he makes you by his simple stride to the kitchen, touch him, whisper in his ear…. But….. not during sports. LOL That’s funny.

Give him direction and show him what turns you on, and do not assume because he has a penis that he has been sleeping with everyone and should know your body. Teach him, give him opportunities to learn your body, guide him to your spots and talk him through it in a sexy way. Do not damage his ego if he does it wrong, learn to talk him through it and lean him into perfection. Have patience and know that you guys have time to perfect every inch of your bodies.

Another thing that should be avoided is getting upset when he suggests something new. Do not make him feel belittled or weird about his suggestion, only be willing to do something new if you expect him to. This is a partnership and one should only do what the other is expected to do. If you are 100% not willing to try then say so and explain why without making him feel like a weirdo or disgusting in anyway. This turns him off with you. Just as you would e if he told you what turns you on is nasty, disgusting, yuck, horrible, etc.

Be adventurous and live at times on the wild side. This enables you to be open-minded, free-spirited and grabs his attention unlike another. Learn him and suggest acts that cater to his personality, show him that you pay attention and ignore your friend’s advice; chances are that’s the wrong advice.

Sense of humor is important in turning a man on. Men love women that have wit, charm and a good laugh. He doesn’t mind being playful, no matter how tough he comes across as, he would love to be playful with just you. Humor is attractive, broaden your horizons and you will be a much happier woman in a wonderful place.