Friday, December 4, 2009

Caring Enough Will Improve Your Sex Life


I often hear men and women alike brag about their sexual performance and I often ask their partner in private and get a totally different perception to the lover’s performance. Now that is not something to laugh at, often men are misguided by the activities of pornography and think every woman is built to handle a physical thrashing like the women on their favorite website. Men think because women always tell them how good they are or they fake orgasms that they truly fit this title and they never progress. That’s shame on the liar. Women tend to talk about how well she moves it and brag about how her vagina is this tight, this wet and does this trick and in reality, so does most vaginas. There is more to being a better lover than the penis and vagina and if you doubt this then you have a lot to learn and many partners to abandon you.


Let’s start with the MEN:

First thing I say is MOST important is the level of respect one treats their partner when being a lover. It’s not a self serving prophecy to jump on your partner pump fast and hard, release your juices and call it a night. Men you should make it MANDATORY to learn what makes your partner climax best, that’s your duty as her lover.

Are you aware that 83% of women state that they are not kissed enough during their sexual/love making sessions? I don’t even know if this needs an explanation. Stop focusing on only the oral, anal and vaginal!!!! There is more you idiot!! K=Learn to give intimate kisses in these i ntimate times.

Oral sex. Nuff said.

Ok, I’ll speak on it a bit. The best way to prepare a woman (statistically) for the greatest pleasurable sex is to definitely ad oral sex in the mix. One must learn to arouse her, relax her and heighten the moment with the power of the oral in order to make this possible. I won’t go into details but learn what makes your partner quiver and moan, convulse and collapse and you are ahead of the game for total preparation for love making.

Find out what your partner wants, communicate with her and learn everything about her. Do NOT be judgmental if her sexual drive or desires differ from yours, be open-minded and ask questions. This is not about you buddy but about you both. You want her then learn to communicate effectively and share with her. Be willing to try new things and don’t expect to be an expert right away, learn it and master it and you will see dramatic changes.

Pay attention to her erogenous zones and learn her body as much as she does or better. Men tend to think attacking the breast and clitoris are the best ways to turn her on enough to give her a good slamming and that is very juvenile. The g-spot, belly button, neck, inner thighs, back of the knees, lower back and even ear lobes on some women can heighten mood stimulation and bring arousal levels to an extreme high. Let her know you love turning her on, express how good it feels to kiss her and to love her and give her attention. Saying how good it feels to be inside her is nice but who doesn’t say that? Learn to be more than the guy who just had sex.

Now we mentioned the g-spot and let me tell you that there are myths and rumors about this and people often don’t know what the heck they are talking about when it comes to this. I often overhear wrong information passed over and just want to laugh. I often tell people who have trouble finding the g-spot, “Have you asked her if your there?” Men really don’t want to ask because they often have their manhood measured by sexual performance and that with the mix of a lying woman who fakes orgasms, you both are doomed to fail. Women should create a comfort level for this type of talk and men should not e afraid to ask, it shows your concern for her pleasure.

Now statistically 3 of the best g-spot hitting positions are so common and yet the right shift here or there will give that right touch that will drive her wild. First one is the infamous “Doggystyle”. This position is usually the man behind slamming into her, but not today it isn’t. Allow the lady to have the control, yes fellas it is not a bad thing. Let her use her thighs to press back as she is crouched down, this gives her the ability to find the best depth and position for the right thrust that works best for her. It is ok to become more involved and active after she finds this, adjust to this position and push her down lay into her from behind. And this will enable your penis (no matter the size) to push in at a downward angle and gives access to hitting the g-spot. Open her legs, close them, ut ask to find out which one best suit her please. Plus there is something about the animalistic positioning of doggy style that gives men pleasure, so it’s a win/win.

Second is you standing or kneeling down with her legs on your shoulders. Keep her legs spread wide on your shoulders and get creative, the angle will deliver the thrust needed to e a g-spot pro.

Third is having the woman on top. Yes this old common position can be a g-spot hitter if she is controlling depth, speed, tension and the intensity level. This gives her the ability to move, grind, lean in any position she feels fit to adjust for that hit. Talk to her while she rides you into the sunset, tell her how it feels, how you want her to feel and how wonderful, sexy and gorgeous she is. There is almost no greater sight than a woman riding you and looking at you will the face of every emotion. The talking is mental stimulation, and that is as important if not more than the physical aspect.

Also remember, when the physical act is over, allow her to determine how quick you go to sleep or jump in a shower. Men have been known to be insensitive in this area but both genders do so. Recap the act, tell her how much you enjoyed it, cuddle with her, tell her how special she is and how special the moment was.

WOMEN, now don’t think I forgot you:

Leave something for the mind, let his imagination run wild and want you more. Most people assume a woman’s position by what she wears. Maintain a level of class and integrity and you can still be sexy, gorgeous, and a stand out. Learn to incorporate class and sexy together and you will have them running to you.

Despite what miserable, bitter women say, men love independent women with a good self esteem. A man likes to play the hero, the giver, the protector but he also needs a partner and not a daughter. Men are driven by a string woman and love to have a woman who knows her worth. This keeps him on point, he knows his woman is strong and no push over and allows a loving challenge and pushes both further. If you doubt this, that’s because you attract losers and you need to re-evaluate yourself. When men tell you how wonderful you are, it feels good that you know he speaks truth and not that he has to waste the moment to convince you. Love yourself in order to love him.

Love your physical self as well. Men love women who flaunt for their man, and find it so hard to e extremely turned on y a woman who hides her body or doesn’t show herself to him at all in any sexual way. Your body is yours, learn to love it. You have your partner and he loves it, don’t shy it away from him. Love yourself, inside and out.

Men love a woman who is not afraid to express that she wants sex and she loves it. Sex should NEVER be forbidden language for adults and should be as great conversation and comfortable as any other, especially with partners. Ladies, being sexually confident will not only drive him insanely sexual for you but will most likely make him loyal. Study shows that sexually confident women and sexually open women have much more loyal men than those that aren’t. Talk dirty or learn to. This does not devalue you; it actually gives you more sexual value with your partner. Ask him if he likes it (9out of 10 men do) and learn to describe what you want by him. This will heighten the sex from good to great.

Never wait for him to make the sexual advances, that is not the gender role and one should think individually, do NOT assume men are mind readers and know exactly every time you are in heat. Grab him, kiss him, tell him how hot he makes you by his simple stride to the kitchen, touch him, whisper in his ear…. But….. not during sports. LOL That’s funny.

Give him direction and show him what turns you on, and do not assume because he has a penis that he has been sleeping with everyone and should know your body. Teach him, give him opportunities to learn your body, guide him to your spots and talk him through it in a sexy way. Do not damage his ego if he does it wrong, learn to talk him through it and lean him into perfection. Have patience and know that you guys have time to perfect every inch of your bodies.

Another thing that should be avoided is getting upset when he suggests something new. Do not make him feel belittled or weird about his suggestion, only be willing to do something new if you expect him to. This is a partnership and one should only do what the other is expected to do. If you are 100% not willing to try then say so and explain why without making him feel like a weirdo or disgusting in anyway. This turns him off with you. Just as you would e if he told you what turns you on is nasty, disgusting, yuck, horrible, etc.

Be adventurous and live at times on the wild side. This enables you to be open-minded, free-spirited and grabs his attention unlike another. Learn him and suggest acts that cater to his personality, show him that you pay attention and ignore your friend’s advice; chances are that’s the wrong advice.

Sense of humor is important in turning a man on. Men love women that have wit, charm and a good laugh. He doesn’t mind being playful, no matter how tough he comes across as, he would love to be playful with just you. Humor is attractive, broaden your horizons and you will be a much happier woman in a wonderful place.

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