Saturday, November 28, 2009

Sexual in the City

Mr. Lover Man,
My boyfriend wants to try anal sex with me and I have a few concerns about this. The pain is a major concern. He wants to try anal beads also and I never tried this, please explain to me these anal beads and what can I do or he do to make our anal sex experience less painful. I love him and really want to try this with him but I am nervous.
Willing to try

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear “Willing to try”, Welcome to the world in modern times. These days “Anal” is the new “Oral” or as my friends in the porn industry say “The ass is the new pussy”. Men tend to get ideas of sexual activity from porn, and these days anal sex is the biggest wave in porn, it almost seems to be as frequent as vaginal sex. One thing I will say is do NOT use anything that will num the area. So many people do this and never realize that you NEED to know if something is painful or not, that way it can be stopped. Something just may be going terribly wrong. Pain is a vital sign that lets you know that something must stop. I say you must be relaxed, tensing the anus is not good at all, make sure you have your sexual charges up. You should be turned on and in the mood for some sexual pleasuring, make sure foreplay exists and even vaginal and oral sex to pre-perform the anal sex. Build it up and heighten the moment. Lubrication is recommended always. I know some instances where women can e so wet that the juices flow but should not be the only wetness in the anal area. Use basic lube, not no fancy crap, that doesn’t help at all. Also remind your boyfriend that the anal cavity is not the vagina and pushing in hard and fast can tear something. One must go slow at first, it will give the penis the chance to enter painlessly. Anal play with fingers and small toys should be a strong consideration. Anal sex can be 100% painless with the right attention, time and effort. Most women who tell me of the pain stories had partners who only wanted to please themselves or who wanted to dominate the anus and never gave it the time and attention need to feel its pleasure zones. As for anal beads, well these toys are designed to give pleasure as they are inserted and gently pulled out the to make your sphincter muscles open and close giving charges of pleasuring sensations. Here is a little tip, have anal beads inserted and slowly pulled out as you are reaching the peak of climax, I promise you that you will not reach a thrilling sensation filled with so much eroticism for quite some time. For the best and most painless anal sex, I do NOT recommend the highly popular doggy style, but, offer you try missionary with your pelvic area supported by pillows.

Dear Mr. Lover Man
I have been with my woman for 2 yrs. Things are good but I feel like I don’t know what to do. She always talks about 3 somes and group sex as her fantasies and I feel like if I don’t give in I will lose her. She says she wants to start off with me, her and a girl. Then she said she wants it to lead in the future to her and other men and I am very uncomfortable with this. She talks about these sex group parties and I’m not comfortable with this at all. I had thoughts with a 3 some with her, me and another woman but never made it an issue that we needed to explore but she makes me feel like it has to happen. The thought of her and many men not only is uncomfortable for me but also would not allow me to be happy with myself. I mean, why would she want other men? Am I that bad of a lover that she hasn’t said anything to me? I don’t feel as threatened by the woman because the way she acts to my penis tells me she loves men a lot. Even then I wouldn’t want this to be a regular thing. She is very sexual and had many more partners than I did but our love is supposed to mean more than this, or am I the last one in the world that thinks so? I told her no aut the men and she said she really wants to try the woman and it’s a big fantasy. She then hints that the sex with multiple men would probably happen after. Should I leave her?

Anonymous Man

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Hey Anonymous Man, I’m going to go out and say do not engage in any activity that you feel will psychologically ruin yourself or your relationship and e very clear about that. If sleeping with other people is more important than the relationship than you should entertain other options. Seems like she calls the shots here buddy and there is not equality. Tell her again and make sure she knows you say it with passion that you are ok with the other woman but NOT ok with her parading around with multiple men. Take a stand and be firm, remind her what she means to you and what it would do to you. If she cares for you and loves you she will back down and find a common ground with you. If she is persistent and rejects your stance then let her parade around with a town of dicks in her mouth and you need to leave the relationship. Only a 100% jealous-free, trusting, concrete communicative situation can handle these acts without ever having doubts and with the comfort to be a couple and both enjoy this. It isn’t your thing, period. Stats show that many couples who over expose themselves to these acts do not last when one person has insecurities or jealousy. She may think these acts are 100% going to happen, and unless you take a stand, it’s looking like your girlfriend is about to become real popular.
Dear Mr. Lover Man
My year for my birthday my wife delivered the best birthday present ever. Her best friend in a 3 some. Now here is where I need your help. She had told me that the 3 some was fine, it was a onetime thing and I could not have vaginal or anal sex with her friend. Just oral and I was fine with it but now I feel unaccomplished and have this fantasy of having a full all out 3 some with her and her friend. How can I get her to agree to this?


MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Hey Mike, first thing I want to say that you are somewhat of an inconsiderate bastard. Now that we got that out in the open, a part of me admires the fact that you realized what you like and wish to express it. Take into account the most important thing, YOUR WIFE. She gave you a gift, and I fear that wanting to push the envelope will somehow ruin the perspective of this gift in her opinion. She gave a gift to please you and that is beyond admirable of her, but, do you really want to tarnish that gift? Also does it have to be with the best friend? You can tell her about a dream you had or a fantasy you had that involves her going down on a woman while you penetrate her from behind and then her and the woman switching positions, which gives you the ability to test waters without involving her friend. That should be her call, not yours. Good luck and please think of her feelings throughout this process, she sounds great.
Dear Mr. Lover Man
This may sound weird to people but I know what I want. I want to use a strap on and give it to my husband from behind. He is not letting me and wont even let me lick his asshole or let me finger him, now how am I supposed to use my strap on with him when he thinks its gay nasty stuff?

Curious female

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Curious Female… First thing, there is absolutely nothing wrong with gay, so lets not use that in any form of negative connotation. People are people no matter what. There is a large wave of homophobia looming throughout the world still and there is a ways to go to get past that. Also you have to take into account that these are taught beliefs so he will feel his pride and ego challenged, his “Manhood” will be challenged and he may be a bit self-conscious. Now, you asked for my help, so here is what I think is the best way to approach the situation. Talk to him in a very nice manner, do not interrupt what he is doing but make sure its during an already active conversation you both are having. You have to set the mood for this, NIT sexual mood but a loving mood. Remind him what he means to you and how important it is to make each other happy. Down the road of the conversation ask him what would make him happy as far as sexual acts never tried, and be willing to oblige as you wish him to. Tell him how much it would drive you crazy if he allowed you this and reassure him of himself. You may have to perform the sexual performance of your life while trying to make him agree to this. LOL. Perform the most pornographic oral sex of his lifetime and make sure while playing with his balls you distract him enough to slip a wet finger back there in the most gentle way ever. Do NOT prod or probe, but lightly stroke the anus, he will definitely tighten up but then you make sure your oral skills are unmatched at this moment, then loosen your jaw enough to tell him how its turning you on and you promise not to do anything wrong. Reassure him how good this feels and how its turning you on. Men are easily distracted with oral sex. LOL. If this doesn’t work right away, you invest time into slowly stroking, licking, and even kissing in the area to build comfort. Good Luck anal Queen. LOL

Mr. Lover Man
I am 23 years old and I have been sucking dick since I was 16. I have to admit that I get a strong rush when swallowing cum. I probably swallowed like 20 different men. The things it does to me. Mmmm-Mmm-Good. Now my friend told me that I can get a bunch of std’s this way, is it true? Cause I use condoms in my vagina.


MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Hi Anonymous, Looks like someone was too busy swallowing nuts instead of attending health education classes at 16. Ok here goes in a nut-shell (no pun intended), YES YES YES you can get a series of STD’s from oral sex, whether giving or receiving. So many people don’t think that and use condoms during vaginal and anal penetration. Here are some STD’s you can get, and look them up and learn why you should NOT get them, unless your mouth is already the tunnel of STD-dom. Herpes, Hepatitis A,B and C, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Syphillis, Genital Warts and the grand daddy of them all…….. (Drum roll please…….) HIV. Yes HIV, which leads to AIDS. Hopefully you read up on these and it changes you appetite (pun intended) for swallowing. T is great to swallow but it is even better to swallow uninfected cum. Good luck.

To: Mr. Lover Man

I have a problem with orgasms and I think it is psychological. I am 30 years old and never experienced one. Is something wrong with me?

Sexless in Seattle

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear “Sexless in Seattle” (love the name) I don’t want you to think something is wrong with you. There are many factors to an orgasmic climaxing. My first thing is to always seek the advice of a professional. Counseling and psychotherapy can help with the psychological block you may have. However, in the event it isn’t that, or if it is, here are some informative tips to help you reach that historic moment. First thing, one must e ale to communicate to the partner what one likes and e open-minded. Most women need lots if stimulation of their clitoris, men tends to forget that this is as important as the penis is to men. Have your man give some considerable amount of attention there. Also, cuddling, romantic settings and a strong loving environment can set the mood for an eventful climax. 20% of women can experience an orgasm thru petting and cuddling. 35% only experience it through sexual intercourse so please do not feel bad. Maybe you should take up some masturbation time and learn about your kitty kat, 50% of women experienced their first orgasm that way. Caressing breasts but not in an aggressive manner can lean towards helping climax. E an advocate of oral sex, make sure he is giving it to you as much or more than you are giving it to him. A good percentage of women (80%) can not have climax without oral sex as a part of their sexual experience. Let me say that you deserve to experience an orgasm just as much as he does. Let him learn to service you first as a routine of education, it tends to e habitual afterwards. It is important that when having intercourse that you try not to have your mind flooded with stressful thoughts, focus on the moment, make every sexual moment “The Moment”. Good luck


Miz T. said...

Yes this is true about some women not experiencing their first sexual orgasms at a certain age. Women have to learn and be comfortable with their own bodies to be able to masturbate and not be ashamed by it. Kegal exercises are great and helps to achieve that satisfying event. I also agree with you on seeking help with that of a Professional and also not be afraid to try exploring new and exciting things with your partner and always take your time in doing so and be relaxed and concentrate on each other without any interruptions. And when you do finally reach that sexual peak, it will be just about the most wonderful exprience that you'll ever can have.

Anonymous said...

The way in which you respond makes me visualize you having these question askers in a room and you are speaking to them. Really good answers and I have new things to conisder with my lover.

Anonymous said...

You need to have your own radio show. Will listen religously.

Anonymous said...

can i have you on speed dial to convince my girl to do some freak stuff? LOL

Anonymous said...

I have my fiance reading this with me, just might convince her to give me the "new pussy". Thank you because life is about to get better.

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