Thursday, November 19, 2009

Shhhhhhhh... Just in case you didnt know

Sometimes secret little tips to know about the opposite sex can help a great deal. Both men and women have little things they would like you to take notice, sometimes they don’t even have a clue they like it until it occurs, but in a study I conducted I realized the following…..

Pay attention, this just might get you a little bit further than where you are in your relationship.

Men PLEASE listen up:
Listening to what your woman has to say should not be a job. You should learn to love her interest and opinions, even if you don’t agree with it. Listening is a strong sign of respect. Even if she is talkative, we all have flaws, learn to love flaws.
Never ask a woman if she wants a particular gift. Asking do you want this bag? Or do you want flowers? Are the cheesiest ways to give a gift. Surprise her, learn to find ways to make her hint to and uncover the gifts she wants, lead her to believe you have no clue and surprise her. Trust me it works.
Learn to get over the fact that she will tell her friends all about your penis, sex, eating habits, etc; her closest friends know way more than you want them to know but you should make it your business to give her something great to tell her friends. Her friends have a strong opinion in the relationship, whether she will admit it or not.
If you are not married and someone asks if you are, do not quickly say no. It’s almost as if you are not happy she is your partner. Look at her and smile and give her a chance to answer, its awkward at times but great conversation later and something cute to look back on.
She loves sex, although men are stamped with being sexual dogs, women are much more sexual and would love it a lot more than they get it. Exercise and build your body to last, learn the particular exercises that will improve your stamina and power sexually, become more flexible, and remember, she is willing to try much more than you normally are, be open-minded and try new things.
Foreplay is a must, unless she wants different, she will let you know. Please her always, you are going to cum most if not all the time, but she may not, learn how to accomplish this glorious feat and make it a sexual must.
Never assume that women and men say the same thing and mean the same thing. Ask for clarity when not sure and never assume, build a very trusting and strong conversation level. Always compliment when she has earned it. Many times she is getting done up to catch your eye, even when she has your heart.
Ok, here is a touchy one…. Jealousy can show flattering concern but can get creepy. Learn the balance.
Just because she got drunk and kissed her girlfriend does not mean she necessarily wants a 3 some with you, if so email me, I want in. Haha Just Kidding.
A female friend told me once that PMS is not the leave me alone week. Men are led to believe that’s what it is. Sometimes she wants to be left alone without being left alone. Homework for you guys is to figure that out. LOL. She added that PMS has an alias that stands for Physical and Mental Stress. Keep that in mind.

Ladies PLEASE Take Notes:
Men are different. Period. Get used to it and move on.
Men are more visual than woman but do not stay in a relationship because of that. There has to be more than that. He may not be as verbal as you, that does mean that imposing your over verbal “talents” will make him as giddy as your BFF. Give him time, slowly bring him there. He wants to be your best friend. Trust me, he does.
Do NOT assume all men are the same; that is usually why you are single or unhappy at this point in your life. Just because you had a few losers in your life does not mean they all are. That’s just what you attracted at that time period in life, move forward and learn individuality.
Learn to step outside of your societal gender role; YES it is ok to ask him out. Don’t you dare debate this with me; you will end up looking like a fool. Do not assume that men see all your signs of interest, he may be equally interested and does not see the signs you give off, do not assume he is not interested. Read a sign better, the amount of pressure and length of time of a hug tells a story, BFF’s don’t normally give massages, there is interest there.
Establish a strong non-verbal communication with him; learn to read into his eyes. He tells stories in loud volumes. Compliment him on his looks when needed, he does need to know if you still find him attractive, learn how to make suggestions without being offensive. He wants to be the apple of your eye but doesn’t want to feel like he has to completely change for it.
Men love confidence; women with confidence turn men on more than dependent women. Do not ever listen to the bitter women who assume men are afraid of strong women, which is a false statement from the “almost” independent women who aren’t quite independent. Do not categorize all men with some chauvinist you got played by.
Do NOT mislead yourself with attraction, the man you met and had the great smile, broad shoulders and wonderful laugh is NOT Mr. Right, he is just the guy you met on Thursday. Learn to know people, men (and women alike) are usually on their best behavior when first meeting someone; do not assume that’s who he is every second of his life.
Unlike yourselves, men do not like jealousy; we find it amusing and annoying but NOT flattering. We may not take it serious and that will annoy you. Learning to trust isn’t easy, address your feelings openly. Men can be insensitive about logical issues; we feel logically, if it’s a good man, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
Never ask questions about his past that may hurt your feelings. It does NOT matter how many women he slept with if he is clean and only with you now. Get over your prior insecurities and build something amazing with him.
Take in consideration that he may not be exactly where you are in the relationship, making hasty and overly aggressive ultimatums to force him into marriage or parenthood doesn’t necessarily bring happiness. It makes you psycho. Communicate the whole way through to see where you both stand in the situation, and always remember if the reward of the relationship outweighs the costs of the relationship, than it is worth fighting for.
Do not play games to “make” him want you more. The cold shoulder game is lame and very high school. As an adult it will make him feel sorry for you, maybe even miss what he was used to, but, not fall in love again. If you want him, say so, if you feel something needs to change, say so. Keep in mind delivery is important. Do not nag, but warmly converse, pick the times for these talks in appropriate manners, during his favorite show/sport will not favor you. In the middle of a work assignment won’t help your cause at all. Patience will see you through.


Anonymous said...

Although granted you made some very good points sometimes men really are intimidated by strong women. I do not know about eveyone else, but in my case finding a good man at an appropriate time in your life is harder then it seem.

Anonymous said...

How soon is too soon to tell someone you love them? Im in a situation right now that i have met a "good guy". I have not met him face to face and we have been speaking over the phone for about a week now. He gave me his heart and asked me to take care of it and also told me he loves me. Now my first instinct is to run change my number the whole nine. But i never had a "good guy:" what the hell do i do


Dear Anonymous
Interesting, many may feel that love is impossile in this situation but I know that the power of love is undeniable. I feel that one should always say how they feel at all times as long as it isnt impossing to others. Life can be shorter than expected and one should never contain their emotions if they are real.

Anonymous said...

Im bi-sexual, and i am really thinking its alot more work for men to be with us than for us to be with them. I like this blog. Thank u

Miz T. said...

If a man is on point the woman will tell him that she is on on point too.Tell him what goals that you are working to accomplish. They will support each other in their goals. Some men don't want alot they just want to be happy and content with his lady. Tell each other every single day "I love You" and I'm blessed that God has sent you to be in my life.

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Olive Rosehips said...

Dear Sir,
I personally enjoyed your sharing of this perspective. Very good information, you said I couldn't debate you about asking a man out... darn... Not quite something I would do but I would majorly flirt, ensuring my interest was known and if he didn't pick up on it I may leave it at that because I would think the time was not right for him. What are your thoughts?

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