Tuesday, November 17, 2009


There has always been a misconception of the male species or the “Man” or whatever term you may choose. Sometimes the shoe fits and we tend to run with this and package it as a whole and mislead ourselves so much that we think we have it all figured it out until one gets their heart broken or never truly finds happiness. Open-mindedness is under-rated.
Some of the things that men are expected to be held in high regard in order to e a “man” are things like income, status and sexuality. Let’s say one lacks, then his “Manhood” is in question, leading this man to face what has been gendered into a position pushed upon him, to force him to fight this alone. The position that society forces on him as his gender role makes him feel inferior if one lacks. Insensitive uneducated women or misguided women will agree easily. Uneducated Men whom have embraced these forced gender roles will also agree. However, the roles have shifted in the last decade. Men are now more so than ever (but not enough) seeking therapy and counseling independently without their partners knowledge or approval in a last ditch effort to be a “man” again.
In the orgasmic department, a women who fails to achieve an orgasm may be upset, frustrated, pissed or whatever, but, not once is her “womanhood” in question. A man who suffers the same fate is categorized as less than a man. Sadly, a man’s identity derives from his penis, his societal status and his money. How could one expect a man to be open with his women about these issues if she categorizes her male partners “manhood” by these categories? This pushes the inferior male into a hole and makes him feel he cannot express himself to his partner to express his needs and ultimately the sex life fizzles, prompting both parties to venture elsewhere, her looking for sexual attention from a “man” and him looking to find his “manhood”. Nothing is resolved that way.
Men have been forced to act as if they do not have these problems and if they do they have to resolve them by themselves and make sure it is done fast.
Women say in a negative sense that men don’t communicate and aren’t willing to share their inner selves. This may be true to some instances but sometimes we have to dig deeper as to why. Men are forced to live that way, almost held captive within them, unable to express these problems that have stamped them as “men” in the fears of appearing less “manly”. These men feel that topics like the expression of love, fear, heartache, despair are off limits for fear of appearing less “manly”. The pressures to be a financial success are more burdening that the struggling journey to arrive at that plateau. Sadly, men in this situation do not even know what pleases them within. They tend to struggle with identity and try to fit what society tells them they are supposed to do and a part of their individuality dies. Ask a man what would please him or what gives him most comfort outside of sex, and the man in this category has to think for a long period of time.
Let’s look deeper about this, men get negative flack for being the visual animals they are. Human males are the third most visual animals in the entire animal kingdom. Does that make it right? NOPE. Just follow me for a moment. Men who do not date women with flat asses, small breasts or woman with kids are looked at as insensitive assholes. I am not debating this, actually I will not say whether I agree or not because that is not where I’m going, now lets ask, what about the woman that wont date the man who isn’t a certain size in the penis department, or the woman who won’t date a man in a certain status, or a man who doesn’t make a certain tax bracket? What’s the difference? Absolutely nothing.
Of course there are always exceptions to every rule, just something to consider.


Miz T. said...

This is so very true you nailed this one. Women expect a man to have a degree, a good job, his own house a nice looking car and to be a great lover in bed and that they must have a big penis.He can have a a small penis and make and still satisfy is woman. A man can have a blue collar job is looked down upon by some women and some women don't care as long as he has a job and a roof over his head and is madly deeply in love with his woman whether she makes more money than him or not.You do have some sensitive guys out there & some women are insensitive to a man's needs. Yes some men aren't communicative at all about certain things when in a relationship. Some women prefer muscular men, skinny men etc. Just like men prefer women who have a shape or can be a plus size. Inside is what counts and if women can look past certain things they can be really happy with that special someone.Love is blind and there is happiness for everyone. Sincerely,Miz T.

BeLLa PLaYGiRL said...

I can totally agree wit you and the staement above. I blame society and there standards. we as human beings feel that we have to live up to what someone else is comfortable wit. i feel that alot of men are clueless when it comes to communication and expressing certain aspects in there life becuz society has set a standard on men being "manly", no crying, no showing emotions, keep a poker face. more men today are seekin counseling wit a disclosed person becuz there fear of embarassment. women do seek that "manly" man becuz we want security, who wants a man who isnt sure of him self. you can make minumum wage but be the best at what you do or make millions and be shallow wit & not know if your going or coming. to be cont.

Vivi said...

Yes MEN, be afraid! It's either let loose that inner ego or lose miss out on a real relationship. We want to hear it, see it, feel it, etc... I'm not saying I want an emotional ball bag, but I think it's fair to speak for all of (Men & Women) need to be clear when expressing wants and needs. Men, don't be afraid to show emotions & women,, let's put in our 2cents; We need to be the "Ladies in the streets and freaks in the sheets."

Stop worrying about what anyone thinks about you. Just let loose and live life. If you feel your partner is the judgemental type, then you need to move on and explore for someone REAL.


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