Saturday, November 28, 2009

Sexual in the City

Mr. Lover Man,
My boyfriend wants to try anal sex with me and I have a few concerns about this. The pain is a major concern. He wants to try anal beads also and I never tried this, please explain to me these anal beads and what can I do or he do to make our anal sex experience less painful. I love him and really want to try this with him but I am nervous.
Willing to try

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear “Willing to try”, Welcome to the world in modern times. These days “Anal” is the new “Oral” or as my friends in the porn industry say “The ass is the new pussy”. Men tend to get ideas of sexual activity from porn, and these days anal sex is the biggest wave in porn, it almost seems to be as frequent as vaginal sex. One thing I will say is do NOT use anything that will num the area. So many people do this and never realize that you NEED to know if something is painful or not, that way it can be stopped. Something just may be going terribly wrong. Pain is a vital sign that lets you know that something must stop. I say you must be relaxed, tensing the anus is not good at all, make sure you have your sexual charges up. You should be turned on and in the mood for some sexual pleasuring, make sure foreplay exists and even vaginal and oral sex to pre-perform the anal sex. Build it up and heighten the moment. Lubrication is recommended always. I know some instances where women can e so wet that the juices flow but should not be the only wetness in the anal area. Use basic lube, not no fancy crap, that doesn’t help at all. Also remind your boyfriend that the anal cavity is not the vagina and pushing in hard and fast can tear something. One must go slow at first, it will give the penis the chance to enter painlessly. Anal play with fingers and small toys should be a strong consideration. Anal sex can be 100% painless with the right attention, time and effort. Most women who tell me of the pain stories had partners who only wanted to please themselves or who wanted to dominate the anus and never gave it the time and attention need to feel its pleasure zones. As for anal beads, well these toys are designed to give pleasure as they are inserted and gently pulled out the to make your sphincter muscles open and close giving charges of pleasuring sensations. Here is a little tip, have anal beads inserted and slowly pulled out as you are reaching the peak of climax, I promise you that you will not reach a thrilling sensation filled with so much eroticism for quite some time. For the best and most painless anal sex, I do NOT recommend the highly popular doggy style, but, offer you try missionary with your pelvic area supported by pillows.

Dear Mr. Lover Man
I have been with my woman for 2 yrs. Things are good but I feel like I don’t know what to do. She always talks about 3 somes and group sex as her fantasies and I feel like if I don’t give in I will lose her. She says she wants to start off with me, her and a girl. Then she said she wants it to lead in the future to her and other men and I am very uncomfortable with this. She talks about these sex group parties and I’m not comfortable with this at all. I had thoughts with a 3 some with her, me and another woman but never made it an issue that we needed to explore but she makes me feel like it has to happen. The thought of her and many men not only is uncomfortable for me but also would not allow me to be happy with myself. I mean, why would she want other men? Am I that bad of a lover that she hasn’t said anything to me? I don’t feel as threatened by the woman because the way she acts to my penis tells me she loves men a lot. Even then I wouldn’t want this to be a regular thing. She is very sexual and had many more partners than I did but our love is supposed to mean more than this, or am I the last one in the world that thinks so? I told her no aut the men and she said she really wants to try the woman and it’s a big fantasy. She then hints that the sex with multiple men would probably happen after. Should I leave her?

Anonymous Man

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Hey Anonymous Man, I’m going to go out and say do not engage in any activity that you feel will psychologically ruin yourself or your relationship and e very clear about that. If sleeping with other people is more important than the relationship than you should entertain other options. Seems like she calls the shots here buddy and there is not equality. Tell her again and make sure she knows you say it with passion that you are ok with the other woman but NOT ok with her parading around with multiple men. Take a stand and be firm, remind her what she means to you and what it would do to you. If she cares for you and loves you she will back down and find a common ground with you. If she is persistent and rejects your stance then let her parade around with a town of dicks in her mouth and you need to leave the relationship. Only a 100% jealous-free, trusting, concrete communicative situation can handle these acts without ever having doubts and with the comfort to be a couple and both enjoy this. It isn’t your thing, period. Stats show that many couples who over expose themselves to these acts do not last when one person has insecurities or jealousy. She may think these acts are 100% going to happen, and unless you take a stand, it’s looking like your girlfriend is about to become real popular.
Dear Mr. Lover Man
My year for my birthday my wife delivered the best birthday present ever. Her best friend in a 3 some. Now here is where I need your help. She had told me that the 3 some was fine, it was a onetime thing and I could not have vaginal or anal sex with her friend. Just oral and I was fine with it but now I feel unaccomplished and have this fantasy of having a full all out 3 some with her and her friend. How can I get her to agree to this?


MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Hey Mike, first thing I want to say that you are somewhat of an inconsiderate bastard. Now that we got that out in the open, a part of me admires the fact that you realized what you like and wish to express it. Take into account the most important thing, YOUR WIFE. She gave you a gift, and I fear that wanting to push the envelope will somehow ruin the perspective of this gift in her opinion. She gave a gift to please you and that is beyond admirable of her, but, do you really want to tarnish that gift? Also does it have to be with the best friend? You can tell her about a dream you had or a fantasy you had that involves her going down on a woman while you penetrate her from behind and then her and the woman switching positions, which gives you the ability to test waters without involving her friend. That should be her call, not yours. Good luck and please think of her feelings throughout this process, she sounds great.
Dear Mr. Lover Man
This may sound weird to people but I know what I want. I want to use a strap on and give it to my husband from behind. He is not letting me and wont even let me lick his asshole or let me finger him, now how am I supposed to use my strap on with him when he thinks its gay nasty stuff?

Curious female

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Curious Female… First thing, there is absolutely nothing wrong with gay, so lets not use that in any form of negative connotation. People are people no matter what. There is a large wave of homophobia looming throughout the world still and there is a ways to go to get past that. Also you have to take into account that these are taught beliefs so he will feel his pride and ego challenged, his “Manhood” will be challenged and he may be a bit self-conscious. Now, you asked for my help, so here is what I think is the best way to approach the situation. Talk to him in a very nice manner, do not interrupt what he is doing but make sure its during an already active conversation you both are having. You have to set the mood for this, NIT sexual mood but a loving mood. Remind him what he means to you and how important it is to make each other happy. Down the road of the conversation ask him what would make him happy as far as sexual acts never tried, and be willing to oblige as you wish him to. Tell him how much it would drive you crazy if he allowed you this and reassure him of himself. You may have to perform the sexual performance of your life while trying to make him agree to this. LOL. Perform the most pornographic oral sex of his lifetime and make sure while playing with his balls you distract him enough to slip a wet finger back there in the most gentle way ever. Do NOT prod or probe, but lightly stroke the anus, he will definitely tighten up but then you make sure your oral skills are unmatched at this moment, then loosen your jaw enough to tell him how its turning you on and you promise not to do anything wrong. Reassure him how good this feels and how its turning you on. Men are easily distracted with oral sex. LOL. If this doesn’t work right away, you invest time into slowly stroking, licking, and even kissing in the area to build comfort. Good Luck anal Queen. LOL

Mr. Lover Man
I am 23 years old and I have been sucking dick since I was 16. I have to admit that I get a strong rush when swallowing cum. I probably swallowed like 20 different men. The things it does to me. Mmmm-Mmm-Good. Now my friend told me that I can get a bunch of std’s this way, is it true? Cause I use condoms in my vagina.


MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Hi Anonymous, Looks like someone was too busy swallowing nuts instead of attending health education classes at 16. Ok here goes in a nut-shell (no pun intended), YES YES YES you can get a series of STD’s from oral sex, whether giving or receiving. So many people don’t think that and use condoms during vaginal and anal penetration. Here are some STD’s you can get, and look them up and learn why you should NOT get them, unless your mouth is already the tunnel of STD-dom. Herpes, Hepatitis A,B and C, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Syphillis, Genital Warts and the grand daddy of them all…….. (Drum roll please…….) HIV. Yes HIV, which leads to AIDS. Hopefully you read up on these and it changes you appetite (pun intended) for swallowing. T is great to swallow but it is even better to swallow uninfected cum. Good luck.

To: Mr. Lover Man

I have a problem with orgasms and I think it is psychological. I am 30 years old and never experienced one. Is something wrong with me?

Sexless in Seattle

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear “Sexless in Seattle” (love the name) I don’t want you to think something is wrong with you. There are many factors to an orgasmic climaxing. My first thing is to always seek the advice of a professional. Counseling and psychotherapy can help with the psychological block you may have. However, in the event it isn’t that, or if it is, here are some informative tips to help you reach that historic moment. First thing, one must e ale to communicate to the partner what one likes and e open-minded. Most women need lots if stimulation of their clitoris, men tends to forget that this is as important as the penis is to men. Have your man give some considerable amount of attention there. Also, cuddling, romantic settings and a strong loving environment can set the mood for an eventful climax. 20% of women can experience an orgasm thru petting and cuddling. 35% only experience it through sexual intercourse so please do not feel bad. Maybe you should take up some masturbation time and learn about your kitty kat, 50% of women experienced their first orgasm that way. Caressing breasts but not in an aggressive manner can lean towards helping climax. E an advocate of oral sex, make sure he is giving it to you as much or more than you are giving it to him. A good percentage of women (80%) can not have climax without oral sex as a part of their sexual experience. Let me say that you deserve to experience an orgasm just as much as he does. Let him learn to service you first as a routine of education, it tends to e habitual afterwards. It is important that when having intercourse that you try not to have your mind flooded with stressful thoughts, focus on the moment, make every sexual moment “The Moment”. Good luck

Monday, November 23, 2009

Questions needed to be asked

Dear Sir,
I need some words on long distance love. I love a man whom I am separated from due to many miles but close to by technology. Any words on keeping this alive?
Thank you ahead of time.

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous

The long distance relationship is at times the most challenging but when the moments arise of togetherness, they tend to be the most rewarding. I often use the term “If the rewards outweigh the costs then fight for him”. I firmly believe that love travels miles if love is real. You need to hear his voice hopefully once a day at least. Tell him how you feel as often as you can, speak to him through your technological means as if he was in your bed and you were whispering in his ear. Send gifts (something endearing and not expensive) know what makes him smile and be responsible for those smiles. These things leave a lasting impression and will hand deliver you your man. Talk about possibilities of locations when time is right; don’t be afraid to ask questions, expressing self verbally is important when distanced because that’s your main component, your technological connection. Use it to its fullest ability. The same way you surprise a man with wit, charm and passion when near, continue to do so through technology. It will work. Blessings to you both for a great forever relationship.

Mr. Lover Man,

I have a question; my woman is always spending time on the phone with her male friend. I been with her 8 months and never even met this “friend” and it is getting on my nerves because she goes out every weekend and I’m stuck home watching her daughter and have been watching her daughter for the last 6 months every weekend. I want to change things but she is always busy with her friends. Help me, tell me the truth, should I leave or try to fix it?


Male babysitter


Well Mr. Male Babysitter, (not sure I’m comfortable using that name) you are in a predicament that I have witnessed quite a few times. You are in a situation you may not want to leave because it does feel good to not be single but is it really healthy? Let’s go through the motions if you will, your first gripe mentioned is her male friend. It seems as if you have strong doubts about this “friendship” and it is as if you are implying there is some foul play going on. You may be right but you also may be wrong. I wonder why has it been 8 months and you haven’t met him. You should offer yourself to meet and express that you feel it’s important because you know how important her friend is to her. The truth usually comes out from there. As for her going out and leaving you to babysit her daughter for the last 6 months out of the 8 months you both have been dating sounds horrendous. Two major problems I have here is one, someone who abandons their child every weekend does not need to be a parent. Parenting is not a weekday/night job. It’s always and I have seen where parents (I’m being generous by even calling their loser asses parents) The fact that she runs out to do Lord knows what, every single weekend for the last 6 months and probably doesn’t know what her daughter likes to do on the weekend is disheartening. The other fact that after only 2 months of you guys dating, you were watching her daughter alone is disgusting (no offense to you buddy). How does someone leave their child with someone they dated 2 months alone every weekend? You have to weigh out the type of woman this is and ask yourself is this the punishment you want to put yourself through? You didn’t mention any good points and I think it’s important you weigh it out. Do not mislead yourself because you try to avoid hurt. Be honest with yourself and make a decision that benefits you as an individual. One must be happy with self in order to be happy with another.

To Mr Lover Man,

I love my man, I know he is a good man. The best man I ever met in my life. Here is the problem, sexually he does not please me and I am very sexual. I find myself ready to cheat because I have needs to. Is it bad if I am cheating just to be satisfied?

Sexually frustrated

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Sexually Frustrated,

I think that this is not a lost case and before you go jumping on a random dick think of a few things here. First thing, you are not guaranteed the sexual God you want in the next random dick and could just be risking breaking a good man’s heart and bringing home an STD. I hope you have not already attempted this act, if so, please test yourself before you have sex with a good man. Second, you say that he is the best man you ever met, then why not converse about this sexual problem? You can tell him you wanted to try new things your friends spoke about, or you can tell him that you read somewhere that sex can be improved by…… and you fill in the blank. There are many ways to implement an answer for this problem without bringing another dick into your mouth or hurting a good guy’s feelings. Always communicate first, always.

Q: Mr. Lover Man,

I really like this guy so much I known him a very short time and he wants to marry me asap. What should I do? I really love him!


MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Tatiana,

Love does not have a time period; you have to take a moment to think if this is the man you can wake up to everyday and sleep with every night. Is this the man you can see forever with? How does he make you feel? These are important issues when considering forever. I don’t ever believe in the societal standard or norm for a relationship, that’s lame and does not ever give people individual chances. Love is undefined and only defined by people looking for something tangible to place to that forever feeling. Love is as powerful, something unmatched and if you love him as he loves you, take everything in consideration and make your decision. If you decide to marry him, I’ll take an invite to attend. LOL.


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Shhhhhhhh... Just in case you didnt know

Sometimes secret little tips to know about the opposite sex can help a great deal. Both men and women have little things they would like you to take notice, sometimes they don’t even have a clue they like it until it occurs, but in a study I conducted I realized the following…..

Pay attention, this just might get you a little bit further than where you are in your relationship.

Men PLEASE listen up:
Listening to what your woman has to say should not be a job. You should learn to love her interest and opinions, even if you don’t agree with it. Listening is a strong sign of respect. Even if she is talkative, we all have flaws, learn to love flaws.
Never ask a woman if she wants a particular gift. Asking do you want this bag? Or do you want flowers? Are the cheesiest ways to give a gift. Surprise her, learn to find ways to make her hint to and uncover the gifts she wants, lead her to believe you have no clue and surprise her. Trust me it works.
Learn to get over the fact that she will tell her friends all about your penis, sex, eating habits, etc; her closest friends know way more than you want them to know but you should make it your business to give her something great to tell her friends. Her friends have a strong opinion in the relationship, whether she will admit it or not.
If you are not married and someone asks if you are, do not quickly say no. It’s almost as if you are not happy she is your partner. Look at her and smile and give her a chance to answer, its awkward at times but great conversation later and something cute to look back on.
She loves sex, although men are stamped with being sexual dogs, women are much more sexual and would love it a lot more than they get it. Exercise and build your body to last, learn the particular exercises that will improve your stamina and power sexually, become more flexible, and remember, she is willing to try much more than you normally are, be open-minded and try new things.
Foreplay is a must, unless she wants different, she will let you know. Please her always, you are going to cum most if not all the time, but she may not, learn how to accomplish this glorious feat and make it a sexual must.
Never assume that women and men say the same thing and mean the same thing. Ask for clarity when not sure and never assume, build a very trusting and strong conversation level. Always compliment when she has earned it. Many times she is getting done up to catch your eye, even when she has your heart.
Ok, here is a touchy one…. Jealousy can show flattering concern but can get creepy. Learn the balance.
Just because she got drunk and kissed her girlfriend does not mean she necessarily wants a 3 some with you, if so email me, I want in. Haha Just Kidding.
A female friend told me once that PMS is not the leave me alone week. Men are led to believe that’s what it is. Sometimes she wants to be left alone without being left alone. Homework for you guys is to figure that out. LOL. She added that PMS has an alias that stands for Physical and Mental Stress. Keep that in mind.

Ladies PLEASE Take Notes:
Men are different. Period. Get used to it and move on.
Men are more visual than woman but do not stay in a relationship because of that. There has to be more than that. He may not be as verbal as you, that does mean that imposing your over verbal “talents” will make him as giddy as your BFF. Give him time, slowly bring him there. He wants to be your best friend. Trust me, he does.
Do NOT assume all men are the same; that is usually why you are single or unhappy at this point in your life. Just because you had a few losers in your life does not mean they all are. That’s just what you attracted at that time period in life, move forward and learn individuality.
Learn to step outside of your societal gender role; YES it is ok to ask him out. Don’t you dare debate this with me; you will end up looking like a fool. Do not assume that men see all your signs of interest, he may be equally interested and does not see the signs you give off, do not assume he is not interested. Read a sign better, the amount of pressure and length of time of a hug tells a story, BFF’s don’t normally give massages, there is interest there.
Establish a strong non-verbal communication with him; learn to read into his eyes. He tells stories in loud volumes. Compliment him on his looks when needed, he does need to know if you still find him attractive, learn how to make suggestions without being offensive. He wants to be the apple of your eye but doesn’t want to feel like he has to completely change for it.
Men love confidence; women with confidence turn men on more than dependent women. Do not ever listen to the bitter women who assume men are afraid of strong women, which is a false statement from the “almost” independent women who aren’t quite independent. Do not categorize all men with some chauvinist you got played by.
Do NOT mislead yourself with attraction, the man you met and had the great smile, broad shoulders and wonderful laugh is NOT Mr. Right, he is just the guy you met on Thursday. Learn to know people, men (and women alike) are usually on their best behavior when first meeting someone; do not assume that’s who he is every second of his life.
Unlike yourselves, men do not like jealousy; we find it amusing and annoying but NOT flattering. We may not take it serious and that will annoy you. Learning to trust isn’t easy, address your feelings openly. Men can be insensitive about logical issues; we feel logically, if it’s a good man, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
Never ask questions about his past that may hurt your feelings. It does NOT matter how many women he slept with if he is clean and only with you now. Get over your prior insecurities and build something amazing with him.
Take in consideration that he may not be exactly where you are in the relationship, making hasty and overly aggressive ultimatums to force him into marriage or parenthood doesn’t necessarily bring happiness. It makes you psycho. Communicate the whole way through to see where you both stand in the situation, and always remember if the reward of the relationship outweighs the costs of the relationship, than it is worth fighting for.
Do not play games to “make” him want you more. The cold shoulder game is lame and very high school. As an adult it will make him feel sorry for you, maybe even miss what he was used to, but, not fall in love again. If you want him, say so, if you feel something needs to change, say so. Keep in mind delivery is important. Do not nag, but warmly converse, pick the times for these talks in appropriate manners, during his favorite show/sport will not favor you. In the middle of a work assignment won’t help your cause at all. Patience will see you through.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


There has always been a misconception of the male species or the “Man” or whatever term you may choose. Sometimes the shoe fits and we tend to run with this and package it as a whole and mislead ourselves so much that we think we have it all figured it out until one gets their heart broken or never truly finds happiness. Open-mindedness is under-rated.
Some of the things that men are expected to be held in high regard in order to e a “man” are things like income, status and sexuality. Let’s say one lacks, then his “Manhood” is in question, leading this man to face what has been gendered into a position pushed upon him, to force him to fight this alone. The position that society forces on him as his gender role makes him feel inferior if one lacks. Insensitive uneducated women or misguided women will agree easily. Uneducated Men whom have embraced these forced gender roles will also agree. However, the roles have shifted in the last decade. Men are now more so than ever (but not enough) seeking therapy and counseling independently without their partners knowledge or approval in a last ditch effort to be a “man” again.
In the orgasmic department, a women who fails to achieve an orgasm may be upset, frustrated, pissed or whatever, but, not once is her “womanhood” in question. A man who suffers the same fate is categorized as less than a man. Sadly, a man’s identity derives from his penis, his societal status and his money. How could one expect a man to be open with his women about these issues if she categorizes her male partners “manhood” by these categories? This pushes the inferior male into a hole and makes him feel he cannot express himself to his partner to express his needs and ultimately the sex life fizzles, prompting both parties to venture elsewhere, her looking for sexual attention from a “man” and him looking to find his “manhood”. Nothing is resolved that way.
Men have been forced to act as if they do not have these problems and if they do they have to resolve them by themselves and make sure it is done fast.
Women say in a negative sense that men don’t communicate and aren’t willing to share their inner selves. This may be true to some instances but sometimes we have to dig deeper as to why. Men are forced to live that way, almost held captive within them, unable to express these problems that have stamped them as “men” in the fears of appearing less “manly”. These men feel that topics like the expression of love, fear, heartache, despair are off limits for fear of appearing less “manly”. The pressures to be a financial success are more burdening that the struggling journey to arrive at that plateau. Sadly, men in this situation do not even know what pleases them within. They tend to struggle with identity and try to fit what society tells them they are supposed to do and a part of their individuality dies. Ask a man what would please him or what gives him most comfort outside of sex, and the man in this category has to think for a long period of time.
Let’s look deeper about this, men get negative flack for being the visual animals they are. Human males are the third most visual animals in the entire animal kingdom. Does that make it right? NOPE. Just follow me for a moment. Men who do not date women with flat asses, small breasts or woman with kids are looked at as insensitive assholes. I am not debating this, actually I will not say whether I agree or not because that is not where I’m going, now lets ask, what about the woman that wont date the man who isn’t a certain size in the penis department, or the woman who won’t date a man in a certain status, or a man who doesn’t make a certain tax bracket? What’s the difference? Absolutely nothing.
Of course there are always exceptions to every rule, just something to consider.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Where am I going wrong?

Question 1: I am a very sexual person, but I am trying to find someone that will want me for more than just sex. What steps can I take to insure that I am not finding someone that just wants to have sex with me and leave? *Via Mindy
Mr. Lover Man says: First thing you must do is ask yourself “What role do I play in these people wanting me for sex?” You state you are a very sexual person, I’m not sure how well you display that and that alone could send the wrong message and attract a certain response that only entitles you the sexual attention and never allowing the sexual partner to want to and/or become privileged to see you are more than just sex. You have to package yourself and advertise yourself for the attention you want, if you truly want more than sex, than saying it has to go in alignment with showing it.

Question 2: I am a single parent and i have no luck what so ever in relationships. I am afraid to bring anyone around my daughter for fear of the relationship not working and my daughter getting caught up in the mix. *Via Anonymous
Mr. Lover Man says: This is a very common question, I tend to ask in return, and how responsible is it to introduce ones child to an adult one does not know well anyway? Give the chance of the person to show their colors then you make that determination if they are worthy of the honor of meeting your daughter.

Question 3: I have been hurt more times that I can think and as a female I have been told that I am afraid of intimacy and it is completely true. My ex has hurt me to the point that I am afraid to let anyone in and now I have a problem with even trying to get into anything that deals with intimacy any advice *Via Anonymous
Mr. Lover Man says: First thing, the fact that you are using your ex as a reference to your inability to move forward shows you are not completely done with that chapter. One must heal in total in order to give self a chance at true greatness in a relationship. Therapy is a great tool in these situations, ut, one must take heed that advice from fellow bitter broken hearts will be misleading to you and should be avoided. It is great to have a support system but avoid them bitter people who are NOT over their situation as well. Being heartbroken repeatedly does not make one an expert in relationships, it makes them a student who needs to be educated.

Welcome to my world.....

What is it that makes a relationship successful? So many components and so many unanswered questions. We explore these worlds often with a blind eye or one tainted by societal norms and stereotypical flushings. What happens when these things do not work, when the questions that often flood our minds are not answered and at times we find ourselves afraid to ask? What happens when the choices we make doom us to repeat the failings that often plague our relationships of past? When do we become bold enough to ask, when do we become courageous enough to want more, to want better for ourselves and our partners?

Fasten your seat belts, you have entered the place that will not only dare to answer but will give you truth unlike any other.