Friday, December 11, 2009

Is It Me?

Dear Mr Lover Man

I've been seeing this guy for 5 yrs now
But we're not in a relationship we've just been having sex for 5 yrs any man I've dated I've cheated on them with him and him he was with his ex for 4 yrs but now there no longer together.
Now in the 5 yrs a lot has happened with us we've gone on small getaway's spend long weekends together visit with each other’s family ect... I've grown very strong feelings for this man in this time I’m in LOVE with him I don't want to sleep with any other man I can't even look at any other men I told him how I feel and that I'll be damned if another bitch came in here and took a spot that's rightfully mine when the time is right for us both I want be together.

He said he's just coming out of 4 yrs and he needs time to himself but when he's ready we can do this. Now my question is do you think I've wasted my time with him and it’s never going to go anywhere besides sex or should I keep the faith? (Btw him & his ex still live together he hasn't moved out yet)


MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Karina,
Here is a harsh reality about your situation, you are easy ass. Close your jaw and continue to read. You gave this man a second thrill for 5 years; you have done so through your own relationships and through his. He has had access to you for 5 years and even throughout this broken up 4 year relationship and yet he needs time to himself? Is this time with his dick away from you? Or is this “time” an alleged time away from relationships? Quite frankly my dear, you have reached the climax of what you mean to him. You are sex anytime, thrills and trips when the main one isn’t available, you are always number two. Now the question is, do you have a higher value for yourself? If so then what you need to do is move forward and be the woman you can e and put yourself first. This is unhealthy for so many reasons and you have to seek counseling if you find yourself in these situations because you are worth more than this. Please seek help and let me know how life treats you. Good Luck. Mr. Lover Man

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I have this problem with my relationships, I always find that I want to be friends with my ex boyfriends and at times it tends to become too much for my boyfriends. Is there something wrong with that? I still like my ex boyfriends and although I sometimes get jealous of my boyfriends female friends, I believe that women can have a male friend better than a man could have a female. Men can’t be trusted as much. What do you think?

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous
First thing, I want to start off and say that you need to realize what you are saying. You are saying it is ok for you to have a male friend because you are a female and it is not ok for a male because males can’t be trusted? And why are your MALE ex-boyfriends who used to sleep with you so much more trusting than your boyfriend’s female friends? Do you realize that I contemplated even entertaining this question? You asked what I think right. I think you are selfish and you need to stop wanting attention from your ex’s. Being friends is fine but alienating your boyfriend’s friends for a theory not proven true is very high school. You should want happiness for your partner as much as you want for yourself, anything less is selfishness and you display it here. You need to think about the other people in your life and put our feet in other people’s shoes. Good luck.

Mr. Lover Man (Shabba) LOL
I find that my fiancé and I get bored easy and I tend to stray away to other men. I don’t know what to do; the thing is I get bored with these new men too. I’m just looking for some good sex. I want my fiancé to step his sex up but I don’t know why he doesn’t. I want to tell him but I don’t want to hurt him. What do I do?

I’m glad that you say you do not want to hurt your fiancé, however, your actions tell another story. Your sexcapades running through town ultimately will hurt him and if you’re not careful (if it isn’t too late) you run a risk of bringing your fiancé an STD and that will definitely hurt him. You then get bored with all these side men and you have to wonder what it is about you that bring this boredom. Communication is essential if there is anything to save with your fiancé. First, ask yourself, do you deserve him at this stage in your life? If so, are you willing to give up the extracurricular dicks for your fiancé? If you feel there is something worth saving then you have to talk to him. Do not e blunt and tell him the sex isn’t working but introduce things with a curiosity to it. Men tend to love being the first to have done something. Tell him you had a conversation with the girls and they mentioned these certain sex acts were amazing and you wanted to try that with him. Now don’t make it like its substituting his norm, but instead adding to it. This is much more acceptable and saves the ego. Good luck Dee-Dee and put the extra dicks down. LOL.

Mister Lover Man,
Is there something wrong with me because I cry at emotional things? My girlfriend tends to look annoyed if I shed a tear at a very sad moment or at a very touching movie. I feel like I should e comfortable expressing my feelings but she is so cold at times and it is turning me off. Should I leave?
Real Man

First thing I want to say is that you using the name “Real Man” makes me wonder how much you question the level of your manhood because of you girlfriend and if I’m right, you are already in dire need of counseling. There is nothing wrong with shedding tears, nothing at all. You have to communicate with her about this and find out her perception on this and state how it makes you feel. Your opinion should be valued as so should hers but no one should be mean or offensive. Gender roles are so distorted that some ignorant people associate men who cry as weak or inferior and do not realize there is strength to release. Good luck and never be afraid to express yourself.

Mr. Lover Man,
I am stuck in a relationship with a man who I am realizing I don’t love anymore. The beginning was great and it’s been a few months and now he is different. I met him and I am not ashamed to say it was love at first sight, I saw him in the club, we hit it off, we bedded one another that night and it was great, but now he seems so different. What to do?

Do you realize that you did not know him when you slept with him? Do you also realize that now is about when you are getting to know him? You have allowed sex as a distraction to alter your decisions and mislead your emotions and now that sex is no longer the only component, you are seeing this man for who he is and you realize he is more than looks and sex and you seeing him different doesn’t mean he changed, it just means that the sex simmered down and he is able to surface. Take this as a lesson to not bed so quickly and learn your partner if you want something other than sex. You can open new lines of verbal communication and see who he is. Learn more about him and if you are not happy, then do not drag him along. Be honest always and communicate about everything. Good Luck.

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