Sunday, April 11, 2010


Dear Mr. Lover Man,

Do all men have to always cheat? It seems like every time I fall for a guy he goes and does something really stupid like cheating. I really don’t think good men exist, so should I accept that all men cheat and just keep the relationship going?

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Frustrated
First thing, all men do NOT cheat. Your attracting a series of lame dudes does not constitute a law of all men cheating. There are good men out there and in achieving this acquisition of a good man, one must want it so much that they improve self. A good man knows his worth and will not settle for the unmotivated, dependent woman who does not see things as is. Your constant pairing of cheating, lame men can tell a bit about you. We attract a certain type of person in our lives by our actions and words. We can be duped once by someone and it does hurt but to say every man you encounter has cheated on you tells us that the one constant in that situation is you. You need to analyze the role you play in this and then do something about it to make your self happier. You should experience a real man in your life, it is not a mythological creature, we really do exist. Never accept a man that cheats on you, no one slips, no one makes that as a mistake, no one who does it loves you as much as you think, You must put you first and take control. Know your inner worth, know you power, know love and stand for better. Good luck with everything.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I love my husband but I found that I am also in love with an other man that I didn’t want to be in love with. He is so charming, so handsome in a rugged way and knows how to touch me. I don’t want to leave my husband but is it possible that I can be happy loving these two men. They don’t know about each other but I can make sure they wont. Please tell me this will work. Anonymous

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
Interesting that you want to deceive these men and you talk about love when you speak of your connection with them. I don’t know that you know what love truly is. These acts of deceit will not only leave you empty but will ultimately leave these two men you claim to love heartbroken. The test of how much you love these men is coming clean to save them from this devastating situation you forced them in. Think of the hearts of the men you claim to love. Park your selfishness on the corner and be a responsible adult. Good luck.

Mr. Lover Man,
I know cheating is not good, but my girl annoys me at times. I’m going to keep it real, if it wasn’t for my daughter I would have been got up out of here. She spends more time flirting with dudes online than she does giving any physical pleasure here. I feel like I’m just some random man that happens to share a child with her. Now I have been getting a lot of attention from women and I have been a faithful man for the 4 years I have been with her but I’m not trying to take from my life if another woman makes me feel like I’m somebody again. I am planning to cheat and I just want to know what would you do?
John (Not real name)

John, you have to communicate these feelings with your girlfriend. You must make your voice heard before you do something you can not take back. What she is doing is hurting you and you need to say something. She is caught up in this false internet world where people are a picture (often not present or real or they are touched up to cover truths) and a story which isn’t real. She is giving attention elsewhere and you need to express how it makes you feel. Her focus on these men could be due to many reasons, one could be her seeking validation from people which can be sad. One could be that she is not into the relationship anymore as well which can make this expression of your stance that much easier. Now the main thing here is your daughter and what happens when this conversation takes place. Have a civil conversation, you both should know exactly what will work and how to make this transition easiest for the child. However, staying together for the child is very unhealthy. The negative vibes, the bickering, the silence, the arguing, all these things will affect your precious daughter. I think cheating is a cowardly, selfish act and responsible adults address issues before assuming selfish acts. Be strong, stand above your situations and express yourself honestly. Good luck and please let me know how this unfolds.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I am scared and I don’t know what to do. I have cheated on my husband with a man that I thought was a sweetheart. He came to see me, went out his way, always thought he was so sexy. So many women want him and yet he chose me and that made me feel so special. I wasn’t very active with my husband because our work schedules conflict and I needed it so badly. I felt celibate and we were drinking and things happened. We continued to do this for 2 months, and wasn’t active with my husband at all, Now I went to the doctor and have contracted two std’s and it was from this guy. He is so sexy and healthy looking and it has to be him because I never cheated any other time. My husband is clean, I checked his record. I am terrified to tell my husband, the house, the car and everything is in his name. I’m afraid to hurt him and to be with nothing. What do I do?

First I want to say that a part of me is sorry for you contracting the diseases you did from your cheating ways, but that’s only part of me. It saddens me that your husband has to suffer this because of your selfish disgusting acts. Now this is all going to sound cruel but it isn’t, what you did was cruel, inconsiderate, unsafe and selfish. You should have been mature enough to express your sexual concerns with your husband, you should have been adult enough to assume your role in a relationship as stand by your vows. Your selfishness led to your compromised health. Your search to feel special and your honoring of this man that gave you the std’s you now any possibly forever will carry is sad in itself. There seems to be a stronger concern about being without than about the love for your husband which also tells of your character. You need to seek professional help and try to sort out some things to ride the road to a better you. I fear you have not learned your lesson and if not for these std’s you would not give a rats ass about your husband. The honorable thing to do is come clean to your husband for he is the innocent victim here. Sit him down and whatever you do, do NOT have sex with your husband and risk giving him your diseases. Communication is always the strongest component in any relationship, without it all else collapses. I wish you the best and please learn from this.

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