Tuesday, August 30, 2011


Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I am a woman who has to deal with alot. I have a three year old son and his father is serving in the military. He is a marine. I respect what hes doing but I am lonely without him. This skyping and letters and occasional contact is not fo me but I dont want to come across as insensitive. I find myself needing sex and I feel like he made a decision to be a marine so I shouldnt have to suffer. There are plenty og guys that hit on me in neighborhood who would keep it a secret and I'm thinking about it. Please help me with this decision. Im throbbing. Thank you far in advance. "Ms. in Need"
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear "Ms. In Need",
I understand that you feel he made some decision that left you alone but you must see the greater good of the decision he made and how there can be so much positivity from this investment of time. You feel lonely and horny and maybe you feel the only way to relieve that is to cheat on the man who risks his life to what Im sure he believes is keeping you and his three year old son safe, but the reality is you can learn to service and try to remember his sacrifice nd risk of his life to make the world of his girlfriend and son a better one. Cheating never has a valid excuse, it isnt the situation that makes you cheat, its who you are and the situation is a pathetic excuse. Weigh the relationship and how much it means to you and communicate that. Focus on greater of the relationship. To even entertain the though of sleeping with locl men (who will NOT keep it a secret) is disgusting. He deserves much more respect than that for his sacrifices and you should remember that a selfish decision can alter the life of your son and his father in you world. Good luck and please keep me posted.
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
My wife has some behavior that is leading me to believe she is cheating on me with her boss. First thing is that lately he has been purchasing gifts fo her. Some shipped by mail and some she comes home with. He is a married man and I dont understand why he is so invested in my wife. My wife has spent less time at home, saying she is focusing on work but she isnt making more money and she is spending more. I went on her computer and saw posted on her memory aticles pertaining to "Sleeping with my boss". This is very disturbing. She has sent him late night texts and locks the bedroom door when she is on the phone. She has puchased sexy underwear that I have yet to see her wear. Our sex is rushed and she doesnt show any interest. I know im being played and I have done all I can. Help. Anonymous
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
Cheating appears to be the clear action and although I do not believe in assumptions, this one seems like the clear answer. I think you should confront the situation and clearly communicate you concerns and your unwillingness to have this happen. The problem is that the chances of her stopping is slim to none. People who sleep with their bosses (most of the time) do not determine the end of the sexual relationship, the boss does and as long as he has the power of being the boss, this will remain a problem. I think you may have to actually consider another plan of life that may have you both seperating and divorcing. The endless gifts from the boss and the bold disrespect to ship them to your home shows his lack and her lack of respect for you. As long as you accept this, there is no reason for it to end. If the home is in you name, you should consider legal action to have her removed from it. Take this opportunity to think about whats best for you and make decisions pulled away from emoton. I usually opt for reconcilliation and some form of mutual meeting that leads to a civil break or working things out. However, in my experience, when the level of disrespect is this high, it rarely can be reconstructed to a mutual respectful level. I am sorry that you have to face this type of behavior but you have to come to terms with yourself and after you diverse a plan to eithe make this work or make the break, you can sit her down and lay you cards on the table. You come first. Good luck and please keep me posted.
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I am dating a guy for about 6 weeks and lately he has not been in contact as he was the previous few weeks. Is this his way of telling me indirectly that he is losing interest? Should I pursue or should I let this fizzle out? Your opinion is valued. Thank you. Anonymous
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Im not one to make time the reason for stages in a relationship because I believe in individuality, however, one can make a few things of this. One is that in only 6 weeks, it is hard to make that assumption with certainty. His schedule may not be as free as it was in the very beginning or he may be thinking as you are and is slowly shying away because of the same reason you are almost willing to shy away. In a relationship that is to be successful it takes both parites to pursue. This is not high school where one wits a time period for the guy to call or whatever childishness is out there. You have to establish contact for clarity. Ask him about his honest opinion about where the direction of the relationship should or is going. Let his answer determine the position of the relationship. If he is uncertain then you have to be certain. If he wishes to go further then you have to sure where you stand. Communication will set you free. Good luck and please keep me posted.
Dear Mr. Lover Man...
i want to breakup with my lover, cuz he dont understand me, and we fight for no reason.. is it right to leave him ? he isnt ready for it..wat am i to do ? I cant continue.. Anonymous
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
A situation like yous depends on the level of extremity in the lack of communication. There are times when people assume others should understand them because they share a relationship but how clear you think youre coming across and how he is receiving you can be two different things. Im not pointing blame here as there are many options to whats wrong but one thing is for sure, before you abandon ship, if you tuly want this to wok then you will have to be the communicator that epresses exactly how you feel. You have to be able to allow him to receive your message, ask for clarity and give him a mature moment to respond. If you dont want it to work then do not drag him any further into a relationship that you ae not involved in. Good luck and keep me posted.

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