Monday, November 29, 2010


Dear Mr. Lover Man,

My sexual appetite is much higher than my boyfriends. What is it that I could do to increase his to match mine? I thought guys were supposed to be sexual all the time. Is it me or is it him? Thank you. “Horny Little Lady”

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear “Horny Little Lady”,
The thing about sex drive is that there is most likely a reason for this and I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t like sex. Try to find out why is it low without mocking the situation. Don’t compare sex drives and do not make assumptions. Try to find out if he has stressors that are presently triggering unhappy feelings or worrisome thoughts. Work, money or medical issues lead reasons men tend to lose drive. Dieting helps too. Sometimes what one eats invades the drive and diminishes it, work through this with him. Change of diet, adding more fruits and vegetables, cutting down fried foods or fatty foods in general will help. Set more romantic settings at home or go out more. There is so much that can be done about this. The only way to get to that is to make sure you find out what, if any, is stressing him out. Another overlooked issue men have is when a woman is too demanding outside of the bed. Psychologically this alters his mood in the bed and often steers him away. How one treats their partner outside the bed can determine the bedroom activities. The only way to get a clear understanding on what’s going on is to care enough to communicate honestly and effectively. Good luck and keep me posted.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
Hi, I’m 16 always thinking about sex. Me and my boyfriend are trying to get it as much as we can. We even sneak breaks in school to do it. Is this bad because I’m so young? We use protection, but I’m wondering if this is something I need to look at because none of my friends are freaky like me. Is this normal? Should I try to stop a little bit? Thank you for answering. Young but Ready

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear “Young but Ready”
Normal is a word that isn’t really cut and dry. I will say that at 16, urges are natural. However, the level of which you act upon it is a little bit disturbing. I think that when it interferes with your education, you may need to consider this sexual relationship. I hope and wish that you are as involved with your future goals and education as you are with sex. Thinking about sex and wanting it doesn’t mean you have to have it all the time. Assess whether other aspects of your life is being compromised due to these sexual acts. If at any point your education is slipping, if your responsibilities are being shelved, if at any point your other relationships in life are being compromised than you should think twice and try to engage in other activities. One of the worst decisions one can make is thinking that they always have time to better their life. Take advantage of opportunities to solidify a greater future for yourself. Sex will be there, learn more about life. I can’t tell you to or not to have sex, that’s a decision you have made and are making, but I can suggest that you make smarter choices. Often we think the future is a guarantee. Make today count in other aspects of life. Begin to have conversations outside of sex and discuss the future. See if he has ambition, goals and a passion for life outside of sex. His presence can be of influence, try to alter his presence to push you towards greatness. Good luck and please keep me posted.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
My girlfriend and I have a sexual issue. She is the making love type and I am the wild for night guy. There is a sexual struggle as one tries to take control and do what they like. How can we make this work? I want it more than she does how can I get her to step it up? Much obliged. The Wolf.

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear “The Wolf”,
So many times people do not realize how much more they can accomplish with compromise than to try to compete. Your case is a perfect example of that. Instead of the constant struggle of which direction this sex act will go, how about attempting to incorporate both. Learn to make love that can later transform into wild passionate sex. Maybe the reason her drive isn’t where you wish could very well be because of your lack of willingness to either compromise or make love to her. Have you thought that maybe the way you make love does something for her that your hard wild sex doesn’t? That could be quite flattering as stereotypically men tend to be better at wild sex than making love. Communicate with her expressing what it is about the wild sex that does it for you and allow her every opportunity to express what it is about making love that drives her insane. This isn’t only about you nor is it only about her. The competition will run dry as frustration looms and could lead to other problems. Be willing to be giving and you will see better results. Good luck and keep me posted.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I’m tired of the excuses my husband gives me. He is such a worry wart and all he focuses on is bills, money, bills and money. I am neglected sexually and with my dive this is long past frustration. He works too many hours and is tired. I’m thinking I’m going to need a job to have sex. He works, I don’t but now I’m thinking maybe I should get a job, and then I’ll be sexually active again. This is frustration at its highest. My friends suggest that I find a boy toy but I am not trying to go that route. How can I get sex more than once a week? Thank you, from “Anonymous”

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear “Anonymous”,
Your selfishness just might be a turn off. How about you consider your words and get a job to relieve your husband of some of those bills he is worrying about? I can’t believe that you as the unemployed partner have the audacity to complain about his money woes and his high concerns of bills. These are common stressors that affect sex life and a great way to prevent that is to actually alleviate the stress by financially helping out. I can imagine your frustration but I think you should consider what he is going through as the only financial provider. Your admission of his working too many hours is a clear sign that there could be more financial help. Marriage is unison, something you should consider when wanting more bedroom action. Talk through it with him. Be supportive; allow him to express his concern without any whining. As for your friends making the idiotic suggestion of cheating, that goes to show you what idiots you have for friends that they would actually have you risk your marriage. I definitely do NOT need friends like that. Sex solely should not determine the direction of a marriage but I do understand its importance. In order for you to get it more than once a week, you are going to have to openly communicate with him and consider relieving him of his financial situation. Good luck and please keep me posted.

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