Thursday, May 27, 2010


Dear Mr. Lover Man,

What do men really Want? I am an educated woman. Even though I think I am just a regular girl, I get told that I am beautiful or sexy all the time. I like sports, football, boxing, etc. I was engaged to be married once, but have been single about 5 years now. I have tried dating. But with minimal success. I have a lot to offer, I am loving caring and dedicated.
I can be a real vixxxen in the bed room as well.
All that being said, men don't really want to take the time to get to know me to get all of the benefits. I mean I am not perfect and I don't make myself out to be. But if they tell me I am all that, why do they run before giving me a real shot? They ALL tell me, you are going to make some lucky guy REALLY happy one day. What the hell does that mean?!!
Signed, Baffled

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Baffled,
The million dollar question…. However, one will be surprised to know that men want a lot of the same things a woman wants. Men want attention, to be acknowledged, to be complimented, companionship, to experience love, great sex, an understanding partner and so on and so forth. In your case, I think this has to do with your choice of men and the stages in their lives. There has to be something you are letting off that these men leave before a real shot is in play and that must be analyzed. You possess great qualities but something you are giving off is giving these men the early escape and that is setting off heavy warning signs. When guys say “You are going to make some lucky guy really happy one day” its usually some pity line that makes them feel good about their exit. It really isn’t about you. This eases a cowards exit. Try to think about where your conversation usually lies when these men start running, think about something done that is consistent that may be giving signals that make these men exit at the same time. That just may be where your answer lies. These men may not be ready for anything near what your ready for. Their lost. Know you are a gift. Good luck and please keep me posted.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
Why do men have to cheat so much? I feel like it is pointless to even date them anymore. The last four relationships the man cheated, I think that maybe because where I work (in a club) that maybe that’s why these guys cheat. Guys seem to be sincere in the beginning when they meet me at work. I hate being treated like a piece of sex object. I feel like I shouldn’t have to deal with this. I fall for these good looking guys but how do you know when they are really into you? Please help me because I should have better than this. Thank you. Anonymous

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous
Well, first thing is you are accepting men hitting on you in an environment where the goal is easy sex. Men aren’t looking to take you serious in a club and yet you subject yourself to this repeated action. You should know this well as you are in a pit of lions and if you put your shield down how do u expect to not get bit. You need to remain professional at work and build the reputation of not mixing work and pleasure. These men see an attractive woman in the club (which was the goal entering the club) and they hit on you an you accept. Mission complete. I have yet to meet a man looking for a wife in the club, I have yet to meet a man looking to settle down with the club girl other people are all hitting on. Look for good men in better places and please check this article out I wrote about that, "How To Find a Good Man" this will lead you to a better path with great men. Until then you need to find a higher level of self love and try to understand your worth. These men may be attractive but as you see, your eyes assist in their plight to conquer another attractive woman. These scumbags continue to hurt and manipulate and in this instance you have to nsee where you are assisting this pathetic act of theirs. Of course they meet you in a club they are going to be nice an run all these lines are you. Its basic lameness. So you ask, why do they cheat? Well because they do NOT respect you or themselves, because they are out for sex and are immature idiots. You cant change this mind frame, but you can set limits when learning these men, you can know your worth and not mislead yourself about these idiots. Be strong and don’t look for love until you obtain a higher sense of self love, this will allow you to love stronger and receive real love from a great man. NOT IN THE CLUB. Lol. Good luck, please keep me posted.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I know men want time with the friends. What I cant stand is his single friends, I feel like they are a bad influence for him. I know guys like that never want to see other guys happy and they probably in strip clubs and other mischief. Every time I mention this he defends his friends, he runs the whole “I grew up with them” thing but they seem to not have grown up. They have a guys night twice a month and I just feel like he needs to grow up and let these losers go. How can I show him the how important it is to me for him to see how his single friends can be a bad influence? Am I being irrational? My friends are not single. Thank you Sylvia

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Sylvia,
One thing that will hold a grudge in a relationship is one party trying to determine the friendship of the others. You are definitely entering a zone you do not want to. You have a very unreal perception of your position with your significant others friends. His happiness with them should mean something to you. Your insecurities about him cheating is unwarranted if he has never given you a reason other than he has single friends. You come across very irrational and need to commend him for not cheating instead of waiting for him to do so. You need to be happy that he is happy instead of plotting your anti-friend bitter attack. Whether your friends are single or not is really irrelevant and childish. I can see that you are mounting a childish attack by comparing your friends relationship status and in reality, that doesn’t mean anything. You need to reconsider this and come to terms with the fact that his childhood friends and their two nights a month is highly reasonable. Get over yourself and stop judging them so much. Good luck with everything.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I’m a single mother pushing 30 years old. I know I’m not old but I am at a stage where sometimes I want another child. The problem is finding a suitor. I seem to be attracted to younger men and they are not mature but they are so attractive. I need a male figure for my son and daughter but these young guys are not good for that but I think because of my past not many guys that know me take me serious. I have been rumored to have slept around but I dated a lot and didn’t sleep with all I dated but rumors unfold and whatever has been said has been said. These young guys try to move fast but I can control them, the older men that know me seem to want only sex and that bothers me, some are friends and I question their friendship. I am confused about a lot of the men in my life. I don’t know that I’m asking a question and maybe just letting this out, if you want to respond I would be happy. I dated a lot the last month or two, trying to get a feel for different men but it seems that every time I like them it backfires. No Name

How important is finding a suitor? Your vent is concerning because I can understand you wanting a male figure but your choice of controlling young men may be linked to the psychological component of you wanting another child or in defiance of age (which you’re very young) or most concerning, the control of young men to compensate for the sense of loss of reputation with the rumors spilling through your world. These are all unhealthy reasons and should be re-evaluated by yourself. As for “friends” that want sex and that you have to question their friendship, well you need to do yourself a favor and remove the “friend” title and put them in a place they deserve to be in. You mention in your own words that those guys are not good male figures for your kids, so my question is, why punish yourself and deal with them. Learn to be more than the moment and try to date less and hug your soul. Try to assert yourself into what you really want from a man and although being flexible is reasonable, you need to stop bending so much and dealing with men you already know are no good. Going on a lot of dates will not be good for your reputation and I only mention that because you made it an issue, however, I never give a crap about bitter rumor spreaders. You have children and you need to live by example. You need to stop making childish, senseless decisions with men and then add to your confusion. Think about the man you wish to be around your children, you say you need a male figure for them, then consider how important it is that this figure is a wonderful figure. Good luck and please keep me posted.

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