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Dear M. Lover Man,
The man I’m involved with makes me feel unsure about what to call our situation. He is so passionate and pleasurable in bed. When we are there, I feel his involvement. He pours out so much and I know he has to feel something. It’s out the bed that I’m confused about. He isn’t as loving and we don’t really do much. It seems like when we do meet up we end up in bed but in the bed is where he expresses his passion. How can I get him to be passionate outside the bed? The mixed signs are driving me insane. Thanks. Anonymous
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
You have officially misled yourself from being the booty call to his girlfriend in your own world. Every time he meets up with you, its straight to the sack, every moment out of it isn’t worth discussing? That says booty call all over it. What happens here is that booty calls aren’t always so cut and dry. People tend to try to give communication or friendship and it dulls out everything outside the bed. You are misleading someone who is great in bed as more that just that. Just because he can make great love doesn’t mean he is the one for you to love. Now on the other hand, this could be all wrong. He could be very into you, but I doubt there is more substance than just a sexual connection. You need to very seriously sit this man down and clarify what this situation is. There should never be this much diversity between what happens in and out of bed. You need to hurry up and get clarity because I fear you have allowed great sex to mislead you. Be stronger than that and be more than that. Good luck and please keep me posted.
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
Is it every man’s job to be so darn confusing? I don’t get the guy I’m dating at times. We have been dating for 3 months and there are times that I feel like I’m the only one he has eyes for. Other times he is so occupied with his cell phone texting or conversation seems drifted. How do I know where I stand with this guy? He can be attentive but at times distant. I question those distant times to myself and wonder if he is thinking of someone else. I don’t ask because I am not even sure what we are. We never officially claimed one another as “a couple” but we have been dating for three months. I’m waiting on him to tell me what he wants but at this rate how will I ever know? Thank you. Confused Clarissa
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Confused Clarissa,
The biggest problem here is your lack of communication. You are sitting confused and haven’t doe anything to clarify your position. Although I doubt it is, but his busy on the texting could be business. I don’t really believe that to be the case but how will you know if YOU do not communicate. In these three months, how much do you even know about this guy without a good level of communication? You do not even know where you stand and I’m sure at this point your lack of communication can be interpreted as lack of interest for more. However, he is just as guilty for the lack of communication. You need to take control in finding your answers before you mislead yourself into a barrel of hurt. Good luck and please keep me posted.
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
While my boyfriend was out of town on a business trip, I was invited to go to a party, feeling bored and lonely I went. I recognized some of his friends where there and started a conversation with one particular friend who stated he was interested in me and always has been...few hrs later and a few drinks we were in his car...so as to talk ...so I agreed. Well we made out in the car....we did not have sex. I said no to that...but he did "finger me". I did not have sex with him, but is it still considered as cheating even though he did what he did to me?? Am I wrong?? Anonymous
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
If I could grab you and shake you, you would be dizzy. Clearly you are not true to your boyfriend and he deserves that from someone. With that being said I will answer your question. YES it is cheating, not only did you have make out sessions but this man invaded your vagina with his finger and fingered you at will. The vagina of a woman that is in a relationship. Had your boyfriend went out and had a make out session with another woman who has expressed deep long secretive interests for years and she jerked him off, would you be happily accepting? Your wondering if this is cheating is a feeble attempt to try to rationalize your interest elsewhere or your inability to be a faithful, trusting woman. Putting yourself in the car with a man that has expressed interest is not wise and it just showed that you were interested. The noble thing to do is to come clean to your boyfriend and honor him enough to allow him the opportunity to decide if he wants to remain in such an untrusting situation. You are very wrong for what you have done and owe him this honesty. Good luck. Please keep me posted.
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
My girlfriend annoys me. I’m confused about something and it irks me. She is always talking about her ex-boyfriend lately and I’m wondering what’s up with that. I also notice that now she goes out and doesn’t respond to texts or picks up calls like before and then when she talks about this guy, I get upset. She then starts to show me loving when I’m mad. We usually end up having sex but then later on it still bothers me. Am I thinking too much or is she seeing this guy? Thank you for taking time out. Andrew
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Andrew,
You are clearly thinking more than communicating. Showing your anger is a form of communication but a weak one. One so weak that se with the female you should be having sex with diffuses it long enough for her to repeat the action. I can not say for sure whether or not she is cheating but the re-emergence of her ex into her world is definitely a problem, one that if you do not address, can and will hurt you. It seems to have already taken affect and you deserve truth and clarity. You will not get that because you do not ask for it. You need to effectively communicate and express how you feel about this. If it bothers you, say so. Don’t go pouting like a baby waiting for a pacifier. She ends up giving you one (her vagina) and you, just like a baby, accepts. Her time away without response is a red alert if this is a new action. If she has always been that way then you are clearly thinking too much, but if not, you should express your concern in that. Be effective and not accusatory, show concern and be honest always. Good luck and please keep me posted.
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Dear Mr. Lover Man:
Been in a relationship for last 7 years. He's not the person I met anymore. Any suggestions?
Before you answer, let me give you a little more background. We have two kids together. Were engaged but have called that off. .
We met while I was in college and it was magnetic. I thought I had finally found my soul mate. We both like the same types of movies, TV shows, music; he even watches Japanimations. Shortly, after being together for a year and having our first child I found out he was cheating on me. Needless to say, I packed up my baby and moved out. We broke up for about a month and the whole time he called me and said, "Baby, I'm so sorry. Please give me another chance." I finally broke down and talked to him. He convinced me that we could fix this and move forward with our lives as a family and promised never to do it again.
Just after the birth of our second child, I started getting the feeling that something was wrong just as it was before. I'd find earrings (I don't have pierced ears), clothing that wasn't mine would be tucked into different places. My neighbors informed me that they saw him coming and going with another woman. When I confronted him about it, he made it seem as though I was being insecure and that the neighbors only saw him with a female relative. Once I got my hands on some proof of his affair. He told me the woman was nothing more then a friend and that he would end all communications with her.
In June, I found out he was still messing around with the same woman. I got an e-mail basically telling me that I was messing up there situation and that I should leave him alone because he'd moved on. I was floored. We ended our engagement and I moved out. Now he's telling me that he's so sorry and to forgive and give him another chance. Same thing I heard last time. He's cheated twice and brought a baby home after one of the affairs. I don't really feel that same about him as I did before and I'm not sure if it’s because I'm over the time I wasted or what. I still love him that much I know but not as much as I use to. I don't know what to do. Please help
THANKS for the advice. Anonymous
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
The "he's not the person he used to be" statement is usually true for everyone. Time changes and so do people.. At Times we can grow apart and at times we get past the courting period, that wonderful time in the first year where everything is beautiful and we see nothing but good or show nothing but good. Then these others parts of people tend to surface and we feel different. There is obvious a lot of reasons why not to be together and I don’t know of any that says you should remain. Having two kids isn't a reason so we can scratch that right off. The fact that he has injected another child outside this relationship and has cheated repeatedly (you only know of what you know) shows that he does not truly value you as the woman you are. The love has obviously lessened and it seems that nothings happening to falling love again. He has not shown you any true action to his “love” for you and his words should not be enough. DO people change? Yes they can, but they only change truly for themselves, not when threatened with losing a partner. That change is usually temporary. If you think you want him back (and I don’t see why) then you need to communicate strongly, ask him where does he stand, if he wants this to work what does he suggest should be done to make it better, you make sure you have suggestions to, ask him what will he do to help make it better and see how valid this is and ask yourself, can you live with it, if you will be happy then try, if not then fly. I say that to offer an option but I have a feeling that if you did take him back this would only repeat again. It is time to move on permanently and be happy. Right now if you're not happy those two wonderful kids won't be. I do wish the best of luck
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
Maybe it’s me, I cant seem to get past sex with guys. I am into them until I have sex with them, and no matter how good or bad the sex is I cant seem to stay interested other than that. I am concerned because of the amount of men I find myself with and I give in sexually too fast but I have needs and I’m at a point where I want to be more than sex but I’m not finding how to do that. Please help.
Thank you, The True Vixxxen
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear “The True Vixxxen”,
Obviously the “I have needs” line is a childish line and one that needs to be thought of when having an array of partners which heightens your risk of STD’s and whatever else you should be aware of. Your inability to see more than sex is most likely due to the fact that you go in head first sexually (no pun intended) and you do not even get a sense of who these men are and once you start sexually over the getting to know phase, more so than not, this doesn’t work. (Not always). Learn to take time to learn someone, do things that are not sexual, take walks, do dinner that doesn’t lead to automatic fluid swapping. Feel good talking about yourself and not just giving your body. Show more of you than the easy lay. This can make one feel devalued or give off the perception of a sense of devaluing (whether true or not). You will be surprised how much fun and interesting it is to learn more than bedroom tricks one can be. There is more to you as well, show that. Be more than the moment, be safe, live life. Enjoy different aspects and I promise you will enjoy sex more so than you even do now. I wish the best for you, please keep me posted on your first “learning” date.
Dear Mr. Lover Man
My ex boyfriend & i haven't been "official" going on two years now. We mutually ended the relationship b/c of infidelity on both ends. the problem is, we are still having sex and its GOOD sex. At first it really wasn't an issue for me but I’m starting to feel like I’m subjecting myself to a bottomless pit. The whole sex with no commitment thing seemed ok for a while but I’m ashamed that its almost been two years of it. I know I need to move on and put an end to this crap but I don't know how. It's like all he has to do is say the right words and I’m back in between his sheets. I still have love for him but I’m not in love with him at ALL! we've remained friends with benefits but its past time for me to cancel my subscription. - Anonymous
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
Well, it is good that you recognize what the situation is, how you feel and that you need an exit. Sadly, your unwillingness to exit may have to do with you subconsciously hoping more occurs. You may want to only attribute this to good sex but knowing you subjected yourself to a “bottomless pit” and unable to let go may be attributed to how you subconsciously perceived your role in the relationship when it existed. I don’t know how he ever perceived it if sex is the only thing that seems to have survived. Two years of sex with no commitment is behind you, no dwelling on that unless you are using it as a tool to move on. The infidelities on both ends that led to this demise of something more than just sex are clear signs that in some form, this was always just sex, occasionally other things I’m sure but not over all. You have to really want something more for yourself, you have to see more for yourself and believe in more for yourself in order to begin to detach. You play a role in this. How you value yourself will determine your true willingness to exit. You are in control more than you think. Good luck and please let me know what happens.
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I am having a few issues with the way I relate to females, or maybe the way they relate to me. I have mostly male friends and things have always been cool between us. We can talk about anything and they feel comfortable asking my opinion about females and any other subject. I am not a tomboy, I am very feminine & straight.
Over time I have had difficulties maintaining a relationship with a female. I have a few females in my life right now that I do lunch or dinner with. I have been in their weddings, coordinated baby showers & parties, shopping, etc. We confide in each other and it helps me to get the female perspective of life.
The problem is over the course of my entire life, some females have made me feel out of place. I am a very laid back person, I try to be a friend to everyone and I don't envy what anyone else has. I have my own style and a happy- go-lucky personality. Unfortunately, over time I have had to "shit-list" a few female friends for things such as trying to sleep with a significant other to putting me down unnecessarily. Recently at my job, I have has trouble out of unsolicited negative comments between female co-workers about me. These are people that I have always been friendly to, helped with work, trained and tied to be a friend to. I am dumbfounded by their behavior. I have gone around & around in my mind to find out why they really dislike me behind the scenes. I don't have a lot of money nor do I drive the finest car. But I am blessed, I carry myself like a professional and can't imagine what the problem could be. I would apologize if I knew.
What do you think?
Thanks, Adrienne
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Adrienne,This is really not a fun situation to be in. Women can be very competitive with one another, I see it daily. From sneers to the woman walking in expensive or bold shoes to the rolling eyes at the female passing by with obvious confidence. Without these women even being known to the sneering party, it happens daily. I couldn’t give an exact reason to how this continuously happens throughout your life and how you cant find more female confidants. I do think that in all situations, everyone plays a role and maybe what you don’t see is that because this has happened to you so long you’re guarded with females or give off a new vibe you don’t notice, almost like a subconscious preparation for this welcoming. This may be what women see now (not saying definite). One can’t alter how others are but one can only focus on self and hope that’s enough. Other peoples jealousies or insecurities can lead to this but consider maybe you are playing a small role here. I really hope the very best for you and would love to hear that this has changed in time.
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Dear Mr. Lover Man,
What do men really Want? I am an educated woman. Even though I think I am just a regular girl, I get told that I am beautiful or sexy all the time. I like sports, football, boxing, etc. I was engaged to be married once, but have been single about 5 years now. I have tried dating. But with minimal success. I have a lot to offer, I am loving caring and dedicated.
I can be a real vixxxen in the bed room as well.
All that being said, men don't really want to take the time to get to know me to get all of the benefits. I mean I am not perfect and I don't make myself out to be. But if they tell me I am all that, why do they run before giving me a real shot? They ALL tell me, you are going to make some lucky guy REALLY happy one day. What the hell does that mean?!!
Signed, Baffled
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Baffled,
The million dollar question…. However, one will be surprised to know that men want a lot of the same things a woman wants. Men want attention, to be acknowledged, to be complimented, companionship, to experience love, great sex, an understanding partner and so on and so forth. In your case, I think this has to do with your choice of men and the stages in their lives. There has to be something you are letting off that these men leave before a real shot is in play and that must be analyzed. You possess great qualities but something you are giving off is giving these men the early escape and that is setting off heavy warning signs. When guys say “You are going to make some lucky guy really happy one day” its usually some pity line that makes them feel good about their exit. It really isn’t about you. This eases a cowards exit. Try to think about where your conversation usually lies when these men start running, think about something done that is consistent that may be giving signals that make these men exit at the same time. That just may be where your answer lies. These men may not be ready for anything near what your ready for. Their lost. Know you are a gift. Good luck and please keep me posted.
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
Why do men have to cheat so much? I feel like it is pointless to even date them anymore. The last four relationships the man cheated, I think that maybe because where I work (in a club) that maybe that’s why these guys cheat. Guys seem to be sincere in the beginning when they meet me at work. I hate being treated like a piece of sex object. I feel like I shouldn’t have to deal with this. I fall for these good looking guys but how do you know when they are really into you? Please help me because I should have better than this. Thank you. Anonymous
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous
Well, first thing is you are accepting men hitting on you in an environment where the goal is easy sex. Men aren’t looking to take you serious in a club and yet you subject yourself to this repeated action. You should know this well as you are in a pit of lions and if you put your shield down how do u expect to not get bit. You need to remain professional at work and build the reputation of not mixing work and pleasure. These men see an attractive woman in the club (which was the goal entering the club) and they hit on you an you accept. Mission complete. I have yet to meet a man looking for a wife in the club, I have yet to meet a man looking to settle down with the club girl other people are all hitting on. Look for good men in better places and please check this article out I wrote about that, "How To Find a Good Man" http://tumblr.com/xee73dh5h this will lead you to a better path with great men. Until then you need to find a higher level of self love and try to understand your worth. These men may be attractive but as you see, your eyes assist in their plight to conquer another attractive woman. These scumbags continue to hurt and manipulate and in this instance you have to nsee where you are assisting this pathetic act of theirs. Of course they meet you in a club they are going to be nice an run all these lines are you. Its basic lameness. So you ask, why do they cheat? Well because they do NOT respect you or themselves, because they are out for sex and are immature idiots. You cant change this mind frame, but you can set limits when learning these men, you can know your worth and not mislead yourself about these idiots. Be strong and don’t look for love until you obtain a higher sense of self love, this will allow you to love stronger and receive real love from a great man. NOT IN THE CLUB. Lol. Good luck, please keep me posted.
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I know men want time with the friends. What I cant stand is his single friends, I feel like they are a bad influence for him. I know guys like that never want to see other guys happy and they probably in strip clubs and other mischief. Every time I mention this he defends his friends, he runs the whole “I grew up with them” thing but they seem to not have grown up. They have a guys night twice a month and I just feel like he needs to grow up and let these losers go. How can I show him the how important it is to me for him to see how his single friends can be a bad influence? Am I being irrational? My friends are not single. Thank you Sylvia
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Sylvia,
One thing that will hold a grudge in a relationship is one party trying to determine the friendship of the others. You are definitely entering a zone you do not want to. You have a very unreal perception of your position with your significant others friends. His happiness with them should mean something to you. Your insecurities about him cheating is unwarranted if he has never given you a reason other than he has single friends. You come across very irrational and need to commend him for not cheating instead of waiting for him to do so. You need to be happy that he is happy instead of plotting your anti-friend bitter attack. Whether your friends are single or not is really irrelevant and childish. I can see that you are mounting a childish attack by comparing your friends relationship status and in reality, that doesn’t mean anything. You need to reconsider this and come to terms with the fact that his childhood friends and their two nights a month is highly reasonable. Get over yourself and stop judging them so much. Good luck with everything.
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I’m a single mother pushing 30 years old. I know I’m not old but I am at a stage where sometimes I want another child. The problem is finding a suitor. I seem to be attracted to younger men and they are not mature but they are so attractive. I need a male figure for my son and daughter but these young guys are not good for that but I think because of my past not many guys that know me take me serious. I have been rumored to have slept around but I dated a lot and didn’t sleep with all I dated but rumors unfold and whatever has been said has been said. These young guys try to move fast but I can control them, the older men that know me seem to want only sex and that bothers me, some are friends and I question their friendship. I am confused about a lot of the men in my life. I don’t know that I’m asking a question and maybe just letting this out, if you want to respond I would be happy. I dated a lot the last month or two, trying to get a feel for different men but it seems that every time I like them it backfires. No Name
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear No Name,
How important is finding a suitor? Your vent is concerning because I can understand you wanting a male figure but your choice of controlling young men may be linked to the psychological component of you wanting another child or in defiance of age (which you’re very young) or most concerning, the control of young men to compensate for the sense of loss of reputation with the rumors spilling through your world. These are all unhealthy reasons and should be re-evaluated by yourself. As for “friends” that want sex and that you have to question their friendship, well you need to do yourself a favor and remove the “friend” title and put them in a place they deserve to be in. You mention in your own words that those guys are not good male figures for your kids, so my question is, why punish yourself and deal with them. Learn to be more than the moment and try to date less and hug your soul. Try to assert yourself into what you really want from a man and although being flexible is reasonable, you need to stop bending so much and dealing with men you already know are no good. Going on a lot of dates will not be good for your reputation and I only mention that because you made it an issue, however, I never give a crap about bitter rumor spreaders. You have children and you need to live by example. You need to stop making childish, senseless decisions with men and then add to your confusion. Think about the man you wish to be around your children, you say you need a male figure for them, then consider how important it is that this figure is a wonderful figure. Good luck and please keep me posted.
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Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I love this guy and we been together 8 years. The problem is I don’t feel like he loves me except when he wants sex. He starts to touch and kiss me, he doesn’t do that any other time, also he is always out with his boys and never calls to check on me, he wont even answer my call or text but he is always on Twitter at the same time I’m messaging him. If I go out (not as much as he does) he always wants to call or text and gets mad when I don’t respond right away. He has broken up with me about 5 times and has dealt with other women, but he always apologizes and I love him so I take him back. I know people say I should leave but I cant, I believe we can work and get better, I think in time one day he will appreciate me. How can I speed that process up?
Torn but in love
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Torn but in love
First thing you should know is that you need to learn to love yourself more than you do. You voluntarily subject yourself to emotional abuse and you rationalize with the whole “but I love him” crap. If I had a dime for every time some idiot said that, I would be Bill Gates. How do you love someone that not only doesn’t display love but doesn’t display any good qualities to love? Your self-esteem needs CPR and your heart needs mending and education. You need to learn to love yourself, you need to learn that being an emotional cripple, or emotionally dependent is NOT loving someone. You need to know that time does not guarantee love, so your being together 8 years does NOT mean love exists., You are accessible sex, easy convenient sex for him. You are there at will, he sees you as property. He can sleep elsewhere, leave and always return because he knows you are broken, he knows you are weak. You need to take that power back from him, you need to find love for self so badly that you see what you wrote me and see how abused you are. As to your question about speeding it up, well you are misleading yourself into believing something that isn’t real, you can not speed it up. He is the only one that can change him and it has to be for him and not for you. You are in a very unhealthy relationship that has potential for physical abuse, you need professional help and should consider that. I hope the best for you, love yourself enough to move on. Please keep me posted.
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I’m having some doubts about my situation with my woman. She seems to always be more involved with her male friends than me. She is also always willing to support their projects but never has supported mine. She compliments them, never compliments me, she has more conversation with them than with me and seems to always make me secondary. Is this worth saving? I don’t even know how she feels because she is not expressive with me, I try to start conversation and she doesn’t give back much, but she loves the attention from other men. Am I dumb for even staying?
Luke
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Luke,
Luke, this is sadly a little bit more common than mentioned. I have encountered this question on my lap more than I would like to admit. The thing is that it is hard to pinpoint the exact cause of her distance from you and gravitation towards other men. Here are some options to consider, at times some people are too complacent in their relationships and tend to take their partner for granted. They often assume that this is their situation and it wont change so they don’t show the loving appreciation they should. This usually leads to the relationships demise. Another option to consider is that she is involved with another man or men and that her attention is easily diverted because she is easily bedded by them. There is no excuse for a partner to not support their partners project but support random guys projects. She may not have the appropriate attention span to be with just you and bores easily and needs new men often. This will make her bitter and lonely ultimately and you do not deserve to take that bitter ride she is on. You deserve better. You have said you attempted communication and she isn’t open, I applaud your attempt but I think that sometimes your approach has to be one that caters to her persona. If that fails, feel free to express yourself anyway honestly and move on. Everyone deserves a partner that appreciates them, everyone should be complimented and supported and she isn’t ready to be a woman yet, and she may never be. Let her go if she isn’t willing to communicate and move forward. Good luck and let me know how it goes.
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I am married with my wife for 5 years and we are happy. We have a 3 year old son and I really have no quarrels to report here, however, my dilemma derives from a previous relationship and I really am baffled at the lengths someone would go in lies so I would like to seek anonymous advice. My ex-girlfriend from long ago has an 11 year old daughter that she is saying is mine. Now I haven’t heard from her this entire time since she was caught cheating on me and I walked away. Her daughter being mine doesn’t seem as possible as it being the guys she cheated on me with but I am not a man to walk away from my duties as a man because of a bitter break up. She has showed up to my job with her daughter and this girl looks so sickly that my heart was shattered for her. My ex used to be a model and I figured what I always told her would be right, I told her to have a plan b because modeling wouldn’t last forever, and she is looking a bit shabby as is her daughter. Now I wonder if I am being a scapegoat or am I really a deprived father that was denied the opportunity to know his child that he didn’t even know existed? I do not expect you to know that answer but I would love insight out of my own. Thank you. Anonymous
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
This is not the easiest situation to face but I admire your diligence as a man, your desire to do the right thing. Now lets talk about a few possibilities here, your ex-girlfriend and her denying you 11 years of your possible child is something you are going to have to let go. That’s something you can explain to this child at an appropriate time if she is yours. Her mom will have to answer for that later on in life. Maybe she was ran through and run dry & taken advantage of from her looks, maybe she is unhealthy, maybe she is broke, maybe she is tired, but no matter what it is, the focus is 11 year old child. Your ex may have a plan and I think that your priority is DNA testing. Not on no silly outlandish show like Maury Pauvich but definitely done asap. I don’t even know that it is healthy to create a dialogue with the child until this is done. They have many clinics all over that do this service quickly with results rapid. If this situation unfolds revealing you to be the father, please do N OT enter this situation bitter about the past, do not focus on what you missed and focus on today and tomorrow. Love her with your heart and welcome her to your family with warmth. If she isn’t yours, close this chapter in permanence and move forward feeling absolutely no guilt as you did nothing wrong. Good luck and please keep me posted.
Dear Mr. Lover Man,
This guy I was with said he was in love with me and wanted to have my baby and all this stuff that really made me feel good. I messed up and went on 2 dates with another guy, but I conducted myself well. I didn’t do anything I shouldn’t have, I didn’t’ have sex, I had a good time but then felt so bad I confessed it and got dumped. Now one week later he is already dating someone else and to be honest I feel like she is hotter than me physically and I’m almost intimidated to even think I can get him back. What do I do? He wont talk to me.
Lizzy
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Lizzy,
Sometimes the choices we make bite us in the ass and you made a choice to date another man while you are in a committed relationship, you kinda got what you deserve in this particular situation. Have you taken into account how he would feel about it? It does not seem that mattered while you were on your date have a grad old time. He found someone else and refuses to talk to you, now in honesty, this very well seems like some rebound piece of ass but I could be wrong. His refusal to speak to you expresses his hurt and or disgust at your choices to do so. How can and why should he trust you now? We often get blindsided by others and that shows how weak we are, yet when another does it we feel betrayed. Your selfish qualities should be addressed and if you have a genuine desire to love this man and can do right by him and really feel that this is best for you both, then step to him, put all the cards on the table, address your wrongs and your feelings as honestly as possible. Communication is the only thing that can be the lifeline to your relationship. Good luck and please keep me posted.
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