Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

LADIES, THIS MIGHT BE WHY HE IS NO LONGER INTO YOU.


One thing that I always found interesting was the mythical notion about the power of a woman's vagina over men. This of course is a falsehood and women should be made very aware that your vagina does not possess special powers nor will it make someone stay with you.
The clear difference when men become attached to the vagina is more so the emotional attachment they have to you than the physical. Sex is sex in many instances and that is why someone can sex you and lose interest. There was not emotional bonding, nor the interest beyond your physical presence, and quite frankly, if all you offer is the physical, once that is obtained, why should someone stick around. The mission has been accomplished.
Here are some reasons why despite you thinking you have a super vagina, men may still not be into you anymore..

To start off, he probably was not into you as a person because he sexed you without knowing you, then as he started to learn who you were, he realized you didn't offer whom he wanted to build a foundation with.

The second reason is bluntly put that he just wanted sex and you obliged. Period. This is often when he probably found someone of more interest or was not looking for something out the bedroom and you hinted for more.

Maybe he isn't into you anymore because you nag too much. Cardinal sin: Nagging. One of the biggest turn offs is nagging and it doesn't get mentioned enough. Men tend to look at this as a female trait and although that is not necessarily true, this is usually what happens before he finds himself trying to hear sensible female voices elsewhere. The nagging is annoying and will lead him elsewhere.



Stop forcing him to so many functions he is not interested in. There should be a balance and a limit to how much he has to endure or you have to endure as well. If he doesn't go to Church, introduce him to it but forcing him will not get him a pass to Heaven. Find meaningful conversation about your beliefs that will show him the importance and have him open-minded about exploring a spiritual life or religious life. Don't try to force religion on anyone as this has been known to backfire and push him away. 

If you take long to shop, just say it and stop dragging him along and forcing him to feel like a third wheel even when it is only you both. Make the shopping trip an experience for you both, not just about your bags and shoes. This is something that can push a guy away.

If your family/friends gives him a hard time and doesn't like him, do not force them on him. Sometimes gradual moves are best and space works most. This discomfort can make him explore other options.

Another reason he may not be into you anymore is that he realized you aren't pulling your weight. Sometimes you are more expensive than you are proven and he feels like he is the only one shelling out cash. Had this been 100 years ago, that would be great but in this day and age, men expect an independent working woman who brings more to the plate than her vagina and being there are so many that bring much more to the plate, he has options.

One more reason he isn't into you anymore despite you having a vagina is that possibly, in your efforts to impress him, you were not being fully yourself and the real you began to surface and the real you is not what he is attracted to. Now being yourself does not mean to give too much information too soon because that too can be too much for him. He doesn't need to know how many partners you had or stories about your ex on the first couple dates, if at all. Sometimes he wants to know important events from the past but most interested in who you are today. Let time open ways to introduce bigger past moments. To save this event from ever happening, be yourself from day one. This is always best.

Ladies, you are amazing and there is someone out there for you.  Men need to work on themselves as well as you need to work on yourselves. Think about these suggestions. It will not hurt.
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Saturday, February 25, 2012

TIMING IS EVERYTHING


Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I need some help on how to get over this guy that I’m really into. I know its love and I really can’t stop thinking about him. I have had this feeling for about 9 months. We had a great sexual experience and we went out a few times but have been friends before that.

We ended up having a huge argument that was pointless and then we stopped talking for a while. He now has a girlfriend who he loves. I love him. I’m a beautiful woman and many other guys have asked me out but I just want him. I know I can't have him. How can I get over him?? Sally



MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Sally,
This is one of those unfortunate situations where no matter what is said, it won’t feel right because you have your heart and mind set on what you want. Reality offers a different option than one you wish for. If this was a cheesy movie, someone would tell you to go for yours and take what’s yours but the reality is that he has moved on and is open about loving his present girlfriend. I think it is safe to say he is happy. His happiness should make you smile if the love is real. I know it hurts but one way of getting over someone is to reprogram yourself to do so. Every time you have thoughts of him, you must remind yourself at that very moment that it cannot be. You have to constantly tell yourself this and it slowly removes the hope, the want and the wishing of something that will not be. It never feels good at first but ultimately you will be free and appreciate the good times and understand that your time with him prepared you for someone even more amazing. Keep me posted, good luck.



Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I dated this girl for 3 years. We spent every moment with each other. We talked about our future together, having kids and the whole nine. I loved her so much; but we went through some rough times. Money issues mounted and we kept arguing.

Stupidly I allowed my friends to convince me that the money situation would not get better because she was in school full time and I couldn’t afford the relationship. It sounded logical at the time. I no longer believe this but originally I tried as hard as I could to detach myself from her. I broke off communication in an attempt to let go fully and I haven't actually ever been truly happy.

I have dated in the last 8 months on and off and feel empty without her. She has dated and sometimes she texts me and it's kind of awkward between us and I want it to be like it was. How can I have a conversation with her that will let her know that I want to be with her again in a way that let her knows what I want without being too strong? Thank you, from: Johnny Rocket.



MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Johnny Rocket,
I understand this is a hard time and before I answer your question, let me say that your decision to let go was idiotic and childish and I can only imagine the hurt it caused. I can only hope that you guys can move past that (whether friends or lovers). The thing here is that you have to embrace honesty and come clean. You have to let her know what you feel without aggressively imposing your wants. Slowly introduce how you feel in a basic conversation while discussing something pleasant like a good moment you both mutually shared. Allow her response to determine whether she is ready for your expressed feelings. When the conversation feels open, inject yourself slowly. Tell her what you miss; tell her how wrong you were because it is not only about you. You owe her more than an apology; you owe her a sincere explanation. Ultimately you will have a clear position in this situation, whether it’s the one you wish for or not. Respect her stance and be supportive. Maturity must set in. Good luck and keep me posted.



Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I have a very close friend that I have fallen in love with. It kills me everytime these women take advantage of his kindness. He is too good for the woman he is dating. I want to express how I feel to him but I find myself too damn busy being his shoulder because she is always hurting him. Should I just tell him how I feel? Thank you sir. Anonymous



MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
I honor your friendship and I am very sure he does the same. There are a few things I want to say and please pay close attention. After every painful breakup it is most healthy that the person hurt should have time alone. Going from one situation to another only covers the last hurt but never heals it. Ultimately it will resurface in the wrong situation which can cause both parties to be hurt. Continue to be a wonderful friend and remind him how important a relationship is with being friends first. Slowly give hints that are comforting but not too aggressive. Help him understand his worth and guide him to warmth. Your friendship will be key. This stage in the friendship should be a bit more endearing. When hugging him, let him feel your embrace a little bit differently. When he is venting, it is ok to gently touch his cheek. Smile into his eyes but do it periodically because he needs time to heal. Thank you for your question and please keep me posted.
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Thursday, September 22, 2011

TIME TO COME CLEAN

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I am in a peculiar situation that I am sure I have not read on the previous posts but I feel that you will give it to me with honesty. Here is the thing, I am in love with someone that I probably should not be in love with. I am 19 and so is she. We were raised right next to each other and our parents gew up together. They always say we are cousins but we are not related by blood at all. Our parents are our God-Parents and they would be upset if they knew that we have been involved for a year. Here is where the situation gets harder. She is 4 months pregnant and we have been hiding it very well. I know that there will be a time we cant hide it but I dont even know how to tell my parents or her parents without breaking their hearts. Please guide me through this.We are in love deeply. Thank you from *John Doe*
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear "John Doe",
Situations like this may not be an everyday affair but they happen. I will say that there is no way to convey this message to the families without any person feeling a certain way, however, the message can be delivered to make sure that your point is felt. One thing you want to do is admit your feelings in a way that is not only showing your mature security in the relationship but flatters the parents that they know you love their daughter because she is a great person from a great family. How could you not love her? Remind them of the closeness, the years of knowing one another in detail and how it evolved fom a friendhsip like no other. Admit your fears in expression but stand strong in confidence. Will this ease everyones heart 100%? Maybe not but it will ease many. You really want to open them up to the perspective of you guys and ultimately the happiness of your independent relationship matters most but I can clearly see its important to have everyone on board. Follow what I said and I think it will lead you to where you want it to be. Keep me posted. Good luck.


 Dear Mr. Lover Man,
Please help me. I am doing something that you might think is wrong and a part of me does too but it just happened. I am sleeping with one of my friend's boyfriend on the side. I did not want to but it just happened and now I feel bad. To make things worse, I think I might be pregnant. I dont want to be with him or have his baby and I dont want to lose my friend.I read your blog alot and seen you help people with worse situations. Can you please help me. Thank you. *Anonymous*
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear "Anonymous",
The term "friend" has been disrespected by your blatant disrespect. The very same term has been disrespected by your unwillingness to value such a term by opening your legs easily to one of the few off limits people in a friendship. So in your mention of worst situations, thats not for me to say but as you try to convicne yourself of this, know that you are wrong in every form here. Now your friends boyfriend is a piece of trash as well but he did not ask me for my words so i wont say much on him. We could safely transer what I say to you to him. You need to test for pregnancy and decide your next steps in that world. If you should be pregnant, you and him are going to have to finally act mature and come to decisions. As fo your friendship, you do not deserve it but that can be decided by your friend as I hope you allow maturity toassist in you coming clean. Your friend deserves an honest friend and an honest relationship with a man who is more than just a male. You have to walk her through it in your eyes. This rarely eases the blow but can make the possibilty of a continued friendship exist. The "it just happened" line is loaded with bull and should not be used here. You have to be honest and stop looking to be the victim, you are not. Good luck and keep me posted.


Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I am sleeping with my sisters best friend. My sister would hate me for it but we are in love and we are tired of hiding it. It has been 17 months and its annoying because when we all hang out (which is rare as a group), my sister talks about other guys and my girl feels like she has to entertain this and I am not comfortable. Should we just tell her? This is too much. Thanks for the advice beforehand. *Anonymous Male*
MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear "Anonynous Male",
I have this feeling that by this point, your sister may feel a slight form of betrayal from one o both of you and that may not be avoidable. You have to be able to remain honest and stong. Tell your sister how it begun and its emotional evolution. Tell her how important she is to you both and how it matters how she feels. She doesnt want to feel removed or as if she isnt the best friend to her and the sister to you. In past experiences I have heard from, the sister can feel detached or like a third fiddle, as if she no longer holds the exact role of importance and you want to make sure she doesnt. Dont be afraid to tell her however, be very aware of her feelings. As for your discomfort when your sister has girl talk with your girl, well thats your fault fo hiding this for so long. So park your "Im annoyed" cry and focus on delivering the message of importance. Good luck and keep me posted.
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