Wednesday, July 14, 2010


Dear Mr. Lover Man,

How can one increase the sexual activity in a relationship that seems to have reduced in the course of time? Between working long shifts and my husband working shifts, its either we are too tired or finding ourselves in position to cover everything else to maintain the home. What can I do to spark the relationship exually again? This is a 12 year relationship with the last 2 years dull in the sack if in the sack at all. Thank you much. “I Want That Old Thing Back”

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear “I Want That Old Thing Back”,
This seems to be more common than anyone wants and there are ways to conquer without abandoning the relationship. Communicate these issues, don’t nag them, don’t make a complaint into a denate, speak about concerns and try to implement solutions, like maybe you guys may want to consider making a special “sex day” where you post it on the refrigerator, it can heighten sexual pleasure as these days get closer. Also never be afraid to stop him in the middle of his tracks for a quickie, bring that explosiveness back. The best quickies are before work, not even coffee can start your day better. Do things you once did in your earlier stages of dating, leave little notes of love and appreciation. Buy fancy underwear and pop up out of nowehere while he is on the couch (not during the super bowl ha ha) and just straddle him. Do not allow him time to talk, learn him again and make him remember whats missing. Make a date to go out and do things that are not sex related, feel his passion and love again, talk, renew your vows unofficially. There are so many ways to revive what seems to be a sexually frustrated relationship. We seem to feel time is aginst us, but we can always squeeze time in if it means that much to us. Good luck and please keep me posted.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
I don’t know what im doing wrong but my girl told me she gets turned on by fingering her, so I try to do that and im thinking im doing something wrong because she doesn’t seem too thrilled by it. Maybe im doing something wrong. What do you suggest because I really want to please her, she is the love of my life and she is my only partner, I am 21 and she is 25 and we have been together 9 months and I really want to make her happy. Is there like a special fingering move I can learn? Thanks from “Handy Man”

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Handy Man,
Well, first thing, I commend you for your willingness to be unselfish and wanting to please your partner the best way possible. Before I give any form of advice or any description on how to position your fingers, make sure you always communicate when in doubt (or not in doubt). Ask her how she feels, communicate before hand and tell her you want to learn to please her and need her guidance until you perfect it. It is her body, it is the woman you confess your love to, so why not speak about it? Communication is the most vital part of any relationship. Now try this here, inserting your index finger and your middle finger slowly, making sure she is either self lubricated or assisted you want to have those two fingers belly up. You want to make sure the middle finger finger reaches as far as you can alsmost to the belly button where you will feel what is now being considered the “A-Spot”, this is a zone of pleasure, at the same time your index finger will be bent slightly so not to reach as far as the middle, where you will be at the “G-Spot” while having your thumb right outside in a thumbs upposition playing with the clitoris. This not only touched 3 vital points of pleasure but will definitely enhance whatevers next to come. Don’t be savage about it, allow her to dictate the amount of pressure and speed required for her pleasure and you will become the king of the golden hand. Good luck with everything.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,
How can I convince my boyfriend to let me tie him up or handcuff him to the bed. This is really something that I get my most sexual pleasure from but my man is really not trying to budge. I mean we been together for 3 years, he should trust me, I would let him do it, what should I do to get him to pleasure me by letting me do this? Thanks a million, “Lisa”

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear “Lisa”,
This can be a hard sell, but before you try to become sales person of the year, take a few things in consideration, have you communicated about his level of trust, maybe he has been traumatized at some point and he hasn’t been able to discuss this and that’s why being unable to have the ability to roam free at will may not be the turn on it is for you. Is it impossible to get him to try it? Of course not. Will this guarantee he will try it? Of course not. However, it will open up some areas of much needed communication that has been lacking in your world. You assume he should trust you, and maybe he does but does he trust the situation? Ask him. You say you would let him do it, but have you offered it? You should, you should introduce videos of the same nature while expressing what it is that turns you on and how your being turned on will benefit his sexual pleasure. You seem to have just wanted it done but you need effective communication, try thoat and you may just have your wish. Don’t forget to have a spare key for those handcuffs. Good luck with everything.

Dear Mr. lover Man,
Why does it seem that all the sexual fun is in the begginning then it gets boring? I have been with 4 different men in my life and cant be sexually satisfied with them past two years. What can happen to keep me interested longer than two years? I really find the same few positions boring and although those are my faorites, it isnt like he is going to change his width, size or strength in his stroke. It gets boring and I need someone new but I really love this guy and don’t want to keep sleeping around. What is the best thing to do? “Two years is not enough”

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS Dear :”Two years is not enough”
Unfortunately, in many relationships the participants allow the fire to dim. You play a role as well, it isnt about your partners ability to grow in ways that are not possible, or for him to gain a super human pump strength to fit your new found needs overnight, it is about your willingness to communicate and want it to enhance so much that you invest in communication and you become willing to also try new things outside of the few positions deemed your favorite. Make it spicier, be more spontaneous, talk more, grab him out of no where, pin him to the wall, service him, have him return it. Be willing to watch movies and be educated together on the willingness to invite new sexual positions, toys, foods, etc into your relationship. Be more than those constant two years you deliver/receive. Men and women both are not as sexually educated as they wish, many arent fully aware of their bodies sexual potential or the full potential the body feels in pleasure. Sex can and often does heighten the chemistry and is healthy for the relationship. Be more than sex with your partner, but when you are sex, be fun, new, spontaneous and amaze him. This will infect him with the equal willingness to do so in return.

1 comment:

Katlynne LaSalle said...

Wish I'd had your advice before things hit the skids in my marriage. Oh, well. Now I'm damaged and enjoying live more than ever. lol. Love your blog and what you're doing to help us lost egos...

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